Books – Page 6 – thoughtLEADERS, LLC: Leadership Training for the Real World

The Awareness Gap: Why Smart Leaders Miss the Real Problems Hurting Their Teams

April 28, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Communications, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

Smart leaders fail when they chase symptoms, not root causes. Discover how awareness helps teams solve real problems and boost performance.

Today’s guest post is by Sean Glaze, author of What Effective Leaders DO.

Even the most intelligent and well-intentioned leaders can get stuck.

They work hard. They respond quickly. They troubleshoot constantly. But despite their effort, their teams still underperform, communication breaks down, and morale dips.

And here’s why…

They’re solving the wrong problems.

In What Effective Leaders DO, a leadership parable I wrote to help managers like Jenn discover the practical habits that lead to real team progress, one lesson stands out as a powerful early turning point in her story:

The most destructive issue on your team is the one that you haven’t addressed.

But most leaders never realize what that issue is—because they haven’t learned the critical leadership skill of awareness.

The Hidden Trap of Symptom-Chasing

You’re familiar with it.

A teammate misses a meeting. Project deadlines slip. Communication is tense. People seem checked out. So you respond by applying pressure, adding another meeting, revisiting policies, or sending a reminder email.

But here’s the problem: those are symptoms, not root causes.

Like Jenn in the book, many leaders react to surface-level issues without understanding the real leak underneath.

In her case, a literal leak—the busted water line behind her refrigerator—was flooding her home. But it wasn’t until Tony, the plumber (and unexpected leadership mentor), pointed out the deeper issue that the real solution became clear.

This is the exact same mistake many managers make every day:

They mistake evidence of a problem for the actual problem.

And when you chase symptoms, you waste time, exhaust yourself, and frustrate your team—without ever truly fixing anything.

Why Awareness Is a Superpower

Awareness is not a buzzword. It’s a skill. And it’s the foundation of every other leadership strength.

It’s what helps you see beyond the noise and notice the patterns, behaviors, or beliefs that are actually driving your team’s challenges.

Awareness is what turns frustration into focus.
Awareness is what transforms effort into impact.
Awareness is what separates leaders who react from those who resolve.

But here’s the truth that many don’t want to admit:

Experience alone doesn’t make you effective. Awareness does.

You can lead for years without ever growing if you’re not reflecting on what’s really happening—or why.

Which brings us to one of the most useful tools I’ve ever seen to help leaders shift their perspective and elevate their impact to build a more productive workplace…

The Ladder of Awareness: A Tool for Smarter Leadership

Tony, Jenn’s unexpected mentor in What Effective Leaders DO, introduces a deceptively simple visual that reshapes how leaders understand—and solve—problems:

The Ladder of Awareness

It has four levels:

1. Unaware

You don’t know there’s a problem yet. Everything seems fine—until it’s not.

2. Symptom Aware

You notice the effects: missed deadlines, conflict, turnover, disengagement. But you don’t know what’s behind them.

3. Problem Aware

You dig deeper. You uncover the root cause—lack of clarity, poor communication norms, unspoken expectations, fear of conflict, or something else.

4. Solution Aware

Now you can act intentionally. You focus your time and energy on solutions that fix the right things.

Jenn’s water leak wasn’t fixed by replacing carpet or mopping the floor.

It was solved by discovering the kinked copper pipe that had been damaged when someone unknowingly shoved the fridge too far back.

Likewise, the “leaks” in your team—missed handoffs, low engagement, high turnover—won’t get better with surface fixes.

They’ll only improve when you identify the actual source of the issue.

And to do that, you have to climb the ladder.

From Frustrated to Focused: Applying This in Daily Interactions

So how do you take this concept from theory to practice?

Here are five ways to use the Ladder of Awareness to build a sticky culture today:

1. Get Curious Before Getting Critical

When something goes wrong, ask:

“What might be causing this that I haven’t noticed yet?”

Resist the urge to blame. Instead, look deeper. Every behavior has a backstory.

2. Make Time for Observation

Effective leaders don’t just respond—they notice.

Schedule time to reflect. Observe interactions. Listen to what isn’t being said.

3. Look for Patterns, Not Just Incidents

Is this a one-time issue or part of a larger pattern?

If three team members seem unmotivated, the problem likely isn’t them. It’s something in the environment or leadership approach.

4. Ask Questions That Reveal, Not Just Repair

Instead of “Why are you late again?” ask:

“What’s getting in the way of being fully present or on time right now?”

Awareness comes from inquiry, not accusation.

5. Revisit the Ladder Weekly

Pick one frustrating issue. Walk it up the ladder:

Are you just seeing the symptom?
Have you named the real problem?
Is your solution targeting the root or just the residue?

It’s a simple but transformative shift that creates real progress.

Want Better Results? Build Better Awareness

Jenn’s journey in What Effective Leaders DO starts with frustration—but evolves into clarity, confidence, and influence.

Yours can too.

But it begins with admitting that what you’re seeing may not be the real issue. That you might be solving leaks with towels instead of turning off the water.

When you become more aware, you become more effective.

Sean Glaze is a sought-after leadership and workplace culture speaker, who gained valuable insights on turning talent into teamwork as a successful basketball coach – and now he travels around the country to share those actionable lessons. Sean’s engaging conference leadership keynotes and custom team building programs have helped clients like Cisco, John Deere, the CDC, and Emory University to increase collaboration, boost productivity, and build Sticky Cultures that inspire more profitable teamwork. Sean’s books, Rapid Teamwork, What Effective Leaders DO, The 10 Commandments of Winning Teammates, and Staying Coachable are entertaining parables that accelerate the growth of leaders and teams!

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

A Tale of Two Retailers and Trust

April 21, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Customer Service, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

Leaders who empower their team members get better results. They make faster decisions, have the ability to act, and create dramatically better experiences for customers. Here’s how you can empower your teams.

Today’s post is by Dianna Booher, author of What MORE Can I Say?

“Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” observed the Russian philosopher and novelist Leo Tolstoy. The same might be said of large retailers. Successful retailers operate on the same principles to achieve happy customers. Struggling retailers fail for different reasons.

Recently, I had to replace two major household items in the same week: a clothes washer and a TV console. The experience at Retailer A to buy the washer proved a disaster. For starters, we asked the salesperson several questions before making our final decision: 1) Is the advertised in-store sales prices the same as the online price? 2) Can we get next-day delivery? 3) Are both colors available now? 4) Are the “pedestal” drawers deep enough to store typical detergent containers? She answered yes to all four questions.

As it turned out, Retailer A could not deliver our color choice for a month. We opted for second choice. When they delivered the washer, it was badly damaged. The optional purchase “pedestal” drawers were not deep enough to store even the shortest detergent containers. When we called to get the damaged machine replaced, the contractor who delivered it confirmed that Retailer A had a backlog of “at least” another month before they could replace it with another machine. And it took more than an hour on the phone with two levels of management in three different departments (warehouse, scheduling, credit) to get the paperwork handled and the replacement machine rescheduled for delivery.

But by comparison, the tale at Retailer B put Retailer A to shame.

The One Question Great Leaders Never Stop Asking

April 7, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Communications, Guest Blogger, Innovation, Leadership, Strategy /by Trevor Jones

Discover how a single question sparked a 4-billion-dollar acquisition and why the best leaders never stop asking it.

Today’s guest post is by Joseph A. Michelli, Ph.D., author of All Business is Personal.

What if one question could reshape your industry?

In the early 2000s, Tom Lee, a Harvard and Stanford-trained primary care physician, was frustrated by outdated, impersonal, and inefficient primary care delivery. Instead of accepting things as they were, he kept asking a deceptively simple question: “Why?”

Why do patients have to call to make an appointment?

Why can’t patients regularly get same-day or next-day appointments?

Why do patients wait in a waiting room and an exam room?

Why are doctor’s offices so bland?

Why do appointments feel rushed?

Why do doctors feel burned out?

And why does the system seem broken?

That persistent curiosity led Dr. Lee to build One Medical, a disruptive healthcare brand that blends hospitality, technology, and personalized care. The company grew from one office in San Francisco to over 200 across the U.S., ultimately attracting Amazon’s attention and culminating in a $4 billion purchase. All this happened because one leader kept asking why and refused to accept “we’ve always done it that way” as an answer.

Great leaders never stop asking why. Their insatiable curiosity is at the heart of every innovation, cultural shift, and lasting business transformation. I’ve studied and written about the importance of leadership and value creation in thirteen business books about companies like The Ritz-Carlton, Starbucks, and Mercedes-Benz.

In my new book, All Business is Personal, I explore how transformational leaders consistently elevate personal experiences for customers and employees. At One Medical, this starts with understanding everyday challenges faced by team members and patients and then designing processes and technologies that resolve those pain points. Visionary leaders challenge the status quo as they seek to make both iterative improvements and industry-changing, customer-centric breakthroughs.

Here are three takeaways from Dr. Tom Lee’s story and the broader story told in All Business is Personal—lessons any leader can apply immediately:

Ask Why—But Ask With Purpose

Leaders like Tom Lee ask why as a springboard to improved human experiences. The question opens the door to uncovering root causes and unleashing creativity and positive disruption. Whether you’re in healthcare, retail, finance, or manufacturing, build the habit of asking:

Why do we do it this way?

Why does our process create friction for customers or employees?

Why are past attempts to address this issue not creating a lasting solution?

Asking with curiosity—not criticism—builds trust and inspires innovation. The best ideas often come from frontline team members, and our job as leaders is to create an environment where team members can and will offer ideas that lead to better human experiences.

Design with Empathy for Efficiency

Tom Lee’s redesign of the primary care experience didn’t begin with technology or cost-saving goals. It began with empathy. He adopted the perspective of patients and healthcare providers. In essence, he asked,

What would make a primary care visit more humane, respectful, and accessible?

With a foundation in empathy, many of One Medical’s breakthroughs have been technological (e.g., a proprietary medical record, a highly used patient app). These technologies allow patients to self-serve efficiently while offering team members more time to engage patients personally.

From a leadership standpoint, empathetic design leverages customer and employee feedback to develop customer-centric improvements in people, products, processes, and technology.

Lead Change by Modeling Curiosity

Culture flows from the top. If your team sees you asking questions, listening to feedback, and adapting based on what you learn, they’ll act accordingly. If you provide all the answers, interrupt, and seek quick fixes – so will they.

Whether you lead five people or five thousand, your lasting leadership impact will likely be shaped more by the questions you bravely ask instead of the answers you quickly give.

The One Medical story, one I’ve been blessed to be a part of as a customer experience and leadership consultant, shows that balancing cutting-edge technology with human service creates personal and loyalty-building relationships with team members and customers. That successful and innovative balance starts with a single question:

Why?

If you ask “why” often and listen well, your customers and employees will respond with loyalty, trust, and four billion reasons to keep asking.

Joseph A. Michelli, Ph.D., CSP, is an international speaker and New York Times #1 bestselling author of books about companies like Starbucks, Zappos, Mercedes-Benz, and his latest about Amazon One Medical – All Business is Personal: Human-Centered and Technology-Powered Customer Experiences.

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

Grandpa Charlie’s 15 Principles for Success in Business and in Life

March 31, 2025/1 Comment/in Books, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

Learning from those that came before us is one of the best ways not repeat the mistakes of the past and make the best decisions for the future.

Today’s post is by Marc Demetriou, author of the book, Lessons From My Grandfather

Many people, including those in leadership positions, tend to overthink things. Haralambos “Charlie” Pistis, the archetypical self-made man and my grandfather, fortunately was not one of them. He travelled as an immigrant from Cyprus to the U.S. at the age of 16 to make a new life for himself, and retired at 60 a millionaire. The secret to his success was not that complicated, as you’ll see below. In my book, Lessons From My Grandfather: Wisdom for Success in Business and Life, I’ve codified the wisdom Grandpa Charlie passed down to me; and a glimpse of this knowledge here. It’s a set of strategies leaders should remind themselves of from time to time.

Why Equilibrium is the Key to Achieving True Negotiating Success

March 25, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Communications, Entrepreneur, Guest Blogger, Sales /by Trevor Jones

Maintaining your cool and being in a state of equilibrium is a huge asset in a negotiation. When the other party loses it, you benefit by staying calm instead.

Today’s post is by Corey Kupfer, author of Authentic Negotiating

Most negotiating articles, books, training programs and other resources focus on techniques, tactics and counter-tactics. These, however, are often ineffective, manipulative and inauthentic and, even when good, are not the key to true negotiating success. Authentic negotiating is the secret to true negotiating success and there are three keys to authentic negotiating:

Clarity: Authentic negotiators know what will and won’t work for them on every significant term, and what their true bottom line is – from a place of clarity, not ego.

Detachment: Authentic negotiators can walk away from a negotiation with no hesitation – not from a place of anger or upset, but from a place of detachment with no judgment or hard feelings.

Equilibrium: Authentic negotiators don’t let emotions dictate their actions. Instead, they maintain equilibrium during the heat of tough negotiation to stay present and preserve their clarity and detachment.

Although each of the components of this CDE core framework are important, in this post, I am going to focus power of equilibrium – the third key to true negotiating success.

Several years ago, I received a telephone call from an attorney, Henry, who was representing clients on the other side of an unhappy split of a business partnership between three guys. I represented one of the three partners, and he represented the other two. Henry called me up, yelling and screaming and threatening my client with all sorts of dire consequences. My client happened to be a lawyer, although the business he was in with the other two was not related to the law. This bullying attorney was saying, “He’s going to lose his law license” and “He’s unethical,” neither of which was true. Henry was emotionally involved. He had lost his equilibrium.

How Writing a Book Builds Your Credibility as a Thought Leader

March 18, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Communications, Guest Blogger /by Trevor Jones

Writing a book is the best thing a thought leader can do to raise their authority in their field. Here is a step-by-step guide to making your book a reality.

Today’s post is by Zach Obront, co-founder of Scribe Media.

Melissa Gonzalez was frustrated.

As an expert in the field of pop-up retail, she worked with companies like Marc Jacobs, Chanel, and Google to create incredible short-term retail experiences.

Those in the industry — including the companies she worked with, her competitors, and her colleagues — knew she was the the person in the field. She was the industry expert.

But when the media was looking for someone to interview on the growing pop-up retail trend, Melissa was rarely the one they called on. In fact, it wasn’t even her top competitor who would be quoted in the media.

It was the people who had written books on the topic.

Melissa decided she needed to write a book. She had the knowledge and the wisdom, but she had one problem: she didn’t have the time.

This is a challenge many thought leaders face. As the experts in their fields, staying on the cutting edge by living in the trenches every day, they don’t have time to write and publish their work.

I worked with Melissa to help her take her ideas and turn them into a book in less time. I’d like to share the process we used with you, in hopes that you use it to take action and create a great book.

Step 1: Positioning

The first step in writing a book, and the most often neglected is to get as clear as possible on your book’s positioning.

Too many authors decide to write a book, and their first action is to sit down and start writing. This is totally wrong, and is a major factor that leads to hundreds of hours of edits and revision.

Instead, before you put pen to paper, spend some time answering these questions:

Occam’s Razor and Leadership Excellence

March 11, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Communications, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

Simplicity can drive outstanding results. Providing your organization simple guidance and a clear desired outcome enables your people to spend more time executing instead of wasting time on unnecessary activities.

Today’s post is by Gary Morton, author of Commanding Excellence.

The principle of Occam’s Razor has influenced many of humanity’s most powerful scientific breakthroughs. “Other things being equal, simpler explanations are generally better than more complex ones” is a powerful approach to problem solving, learning, and discovery. It is also a formidable principle when applied to organizational leadership.

Extraordinary businesses have applied “the Razor” in defining an absolute clarity of purpose for the enterprise, often with a mission stated in just a few words. Notable examples are Apple under former CEO Steve Jobs: “Insanely great products,” and GE under former CEO Jack Welch: “Number 1 or 2 in any business.” Institutions that endure similarly follow this simple principle, for instance, the US Military Academy at West Point’s creed: “Duty, Honor, Country,” or even the United States of America’s constitutional foundation: “We the People.”

Leaders in such extraordinary organizations further apply the power of “the Razor” by adopting straightforward approaches to the most critical activities. Example case studies include US ARMY Task Force 4-68 (TF 4-68) and Medical device maker Stryker both of which accomplished what experts in their fields thought impossible. TF 4-68, a 600 soldier military unit, won an unprecedented nine of nine force-on-force engagements at the US Army’s grueling National Training Center (NTC). Stryker, now a Fortune 100 business enterprise, grew earnings at a consistent pace of 20 percent or more for an unprecedented 28 consecutive years. Simple three-word goals expressed their overarching purpose, and uncomplicated operating procedures defined the methods and approaches by which they achieved it.

Absolute Clarity of Purpose

TF 4-68’s commander, Fred Dibella, set a crystal-clear goal to go 9-0 against the indomitable Opposing Forces (OPFOR) at the NTC. He then ensured that this absolute clarity of purpose pervaded every activity. The simple 3-word goal was in the backdrop of countless decisions, large and small, made every day and at all levels.

The Power of Teams: From Everest to the Pinnacle of Business Success

March 3, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Entrepreneur, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

Learn how creating a successful business is like climbing one of the world’s highest peaks.

Today’s post is by Susan Ershler, co-author of “Conquering the Seven Summits of Sales”

In 2002, while relaxing at Everest Base Camp, I fell into conversation with Dan, a fellow climber about to make his fifth attempt to reach the summit alone. Dan was determined to be completely self-sufficient, carrying all of his own gear and climbing without a guide. I wondered why anyone would take on such a huge challenge without accepting even a modicum of help. But I wished him luck and rejoined my team to prepare for our climb of the treacherous Khumbu Ice Fall, the first major obstacle on our route to the summit. A week later, at Camp III, I found Dan camping alone and stopped by briefly to offer him a cup of tea and an energy bar. Cordially but firmly, he refused, reiterating his decision to rely exclusively on the supplies he had carried up himself from Base Camp. Later, I heard that Dan’s fifth attempt to reach the summit of Everest had failed. His determination to climb the world’s tallest mountain alone had defeated him.

Creating a successful business is like climbing one of the world’s highest peaks. One moment, the way ahead is clear and the summit seems tantalizingly within reach. Then, without warning, an icy storm descends, battering you with howling winds and near whiteout conditions. At times like these, climbers depend on the expertise and experience of their mountain guides and fellow climbers for their very survival. We don’t climb high mountains alone.

The same is true in the business world, where global market forces and turbulent economic cycles pose ongoing threats to the viability of a fledgling business. New technologies may be introduced seemingly overnight that render your products and services obsolete. A former partner with deep pockets may suddenly decide to compete and wrest away your clients. At times like these, your company’s survival depends on the experience and expertise of your team and the contacts and advice furnished by members of your personal and professional networks.

My friend and fellow climber John Waechter and I have been repeatedly struck by the remarkable similarities in skills and attitudes shared by elite mountain climbers and peak performers in business. Over the years, we frequently asked ourselves what made it possible for us to reach the pinnacle of our professions while ascending the Seven Summits, the highest peaks on each of the seven continents. Neither of us ascribes our success to the vagaries of fate or believes we possess unique or special talents. Instead, we’ve concluded that high achievement is a carefully honed skill; a strategic approach to problem solving that anyone can learn to cultivate with practice and dedication. This insight led us to share our experiences on the mountains and in business as co-authors of a new book, Conquering the Seven Summits of Sales: From Everest to Every Business, that examines the habits of success that we believe anyone can master to achieve peak performance in entrepreneurship and leadership.

What? You’re Leaving Me?

February 24, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

When a top employee resigns, how should a leader respond? Discover best leadership practices for handling transitions with integrity and support.

Today’s guest post is by Mark C. Fava, author of “LESSONS FROM THE ADMIRAL: Naval Wisdom and Sea Stories for Leaders”

You have trained and mentored an employee for years. You have invested time and money to ensure their development, success, and future. You have poured your soul and wisdom into them. They are on your high-performance list and your succession plan for the future.

Then you get the email, or they poke their head into your office.

They ask, “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure,” you respond, as you have done many times before. “What’s up?”

“Look, I have really enjoyed my time here and am so thankful for everything you have done for me. I have valued every day and have grown both professionally and personally, but I have been presented with a new opportunity that I don’t think I can pass up.”

Then it hits you. This is going to be a resignation discussion. They have found another job and are leaving. You feel confused, upset, and perhaps a little betrayed. You have worked to invest in this person for years, and they want to go elsewhere. How could that possibly be?

How does a leader respond?

This scenario has happened to me twice, once as a naval officer and later as a civilian aviation attorney.

I discuss the first time in the last chapter of my book, “Lessons from the Admiral: Naval Wisdom and Sea Stories for Leaders.” I had been in the prestigious position as an admiral’s aide for seventeen months.

The Admiral had hand-picked me for this job. We were together almost every day, from well before sunrise to well after sunset. I trusted him and he trusted me. However, after six years as a naval flight officer, I decided to leave active duty military service and transition to the Navy Reserves to attend law school. That was a significant decision based on my military career success and the time I had already invested in the Navy, and the Navy had invested in me.

When I told the Admiral, he looked up at me and paused. “Are you sure?” he asked.

I responded, “Yes, sir.”

He continued, “Can I talk you out of it?”

“No sir,” I said with my heart pounding.

“No changing your mind?” he asked.

“No sir,” I said as sweat grew in my armpits.

“Okay,” he said with a deep sigh. “What can I do to help you, Mark?”

I will never forget that response. At that time, I knew he could have summarily relieved me of my position as his aide. Many in the Navy would deem my leaving active service a retention failure on his part.

That was authentic leadership. He also helped me by writing strong letters of recommendation for my law school applications and a glowing final military evaluation report.

Fast forward almost twenty years later when I was faced with the same decision to leave a law firm. I had worked incredibly hard and built a multi-million dollar book of aviation business, handling litigation cases and regulatory matters for many air carriers and aviation operators. I had expressed concern to the managing partners about what I perceived to be the gross inequity of the pay scale based on the revenue I was bringing into the firm compared to those who did not have a book of business, but over the years, continued to be compensated at much higher pay. They were being paid on an antiquated model based on seniority that had disincentivized the up-and-coming top producers like me.

I had expressed my frustration many times to no avail. I finally set up a meeting with the managing partner to show him my business’s financial numbers and growth trajectory. I diplomatically tried to make the case that the compensation structure was patently unfair.

He listened patiently and then said, “Mark, we have had this discussion several times, and the compensation system will not be changed for you. If you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror every day, maybe this is not the place for you. You’re just going to have to wait your turn. Others have. And I’m not going to have this discussion with you again.”

I got the message loud and clear. Honestly, it was a message that I needed to hear. That day, I learned that one’s destiny is, in many respects, controlled by one’s own actions. So, I took action and left the firm within the next three months.

I was polite and diplomatic when I informed the managing partner of my resignation. I stated that I had another opportunity and thought it would be best for my family and me to move on. I loved the firm and the lawyers there but couldn’t stay.

Three weeks later, when I got my final check, the firm had decided not to compensate me on a pro-rata basis for the revenue I had brought to the firm when my pay terms were based on that. There was no requirement that I complete the full year to receive that incentive payment. Unfortunately, it took several heated discussions with the managing partner before that pay was sent to me weeks later.

Unlike my positive departure from military service years before, the law firm departure became a miserable experience and a lousy memory. I remember both vividly today.

So, what do you say when an employee announces their resignation politely and honorably? From a leadership perspective, the best practice is to help them with the transition and cheer them on as they leave.

Over the years, as a boss and leader, I have had several key employees come in and have that resignation discussion. I look up at them and say, “Gosh, I really hate to see you go. Can I change your mind? If not, how can I help you?”

Mark C. Fava, author of LESSONS FROM THE ADMIRAL: Naval Wisdom and Sea Stories for Leaders, is a speaker, retired US Navy Captain, and career aviation lawyer at the world’s largest aerospace manufacturer. He was not the Admiral. He resides in Charleston, South Carolina. For more information, visit www.markcfava.com.

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a couple of emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog delivered to your inbox every week!

What Goldilocks Can Teach Us About Leadership

February 19, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

Learn three valuable leadership lessons from the classic fairy tale, Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Today’s guest post is by Lida Citroën, author of “The New Rules of Influence: How to Authentically Build Trust, Drive Change, and Make an Impact.”

Think back to the 19th-century children’s fable, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. A young girl, lost in the woods, stumbles upon a home that just happens to belong to a family of bears. (Can we say breaking and entering?) Trying to orient herself, she samples their food, tests their chairs, and eventually crashes in their beds—all in search of what feels “just right” to her.

The story has been analyzed for generations, but what if we looked at it through the lens of leadership? What can Goldilocks’ choices—both smart and misguided—teach us about how to lead effectively?

Lesson 1: Agility – Adapting to What’s in Front of You

When Goldilocks saw three bowls of porridge, she didn’t hesitate. She was hungry, so she tried them all—one was too hot, one too cold, and one felt just right. She applied the same approach to the chairs and beds, seeking the best fit instead of settling.

What Goldilocks demonstrated was an agile mindset. She didn’t waste time forcing herself to eat burning-hot porridge or suffer through an uncomfortable chair—she pivoted until she found what worked.

As leaders, an agile mindset is essential when facing adversity, uncertainty, or rapid change. When faced with challenges, great leaders embrace uncertainty with curiosity and flexibility. Instead of freezing or fleeing, we can embrace the ambiguity and acknowledge that an open mind can serve us best here. Agile thinking leads to growth mindset, which leads to innovation, risk taking, and entrepreneurial thinking.

In The New Rules of Influence, I write: “Being agile means moving past perceived threats and recognizing that you’re simply moving closer to your purpose, your mission, and the influence you need to share with others.” For leaders, this means abandoning the tired excuse of “this is how we’ve always done it” and instead asking: “What’s possible? What are we missing? What’s next?”

Lesson 2: Positional Authority – Leadership Isn’t About Rank

Goldilocks made a fatal leadership mistake: she assumed she was entitled to things that weren’t hers. The house wasn’t hers. The food wasn’t hers. The bed wasn’t hers. Yet, she took what she wanted, assuming she had the right to do so.

In the past, rank, status, and title offered leaders certain privileges and entitlements. An outdated leadership model—one where rank, title, and status automatically granted power—gave leaders the ability to dictate direction, expect compliance, and assume influence came with their position.

But did it really?

Sure, employees followed orders, but were they genuinely influenced by those leaders, or were they just complying out of obligation because their career and paycheck depended on it?

Today, authority and positional power are being replaced by influence at all levels in the organization. No longer should we only hear from the person behind the podium—we also value the voices in the back of the room. The intern, the frontline employee, the person with a unique perspective—they all bring insights that challenge assumptions and spark progress. Maybe they see things differently. Perhaps they come from a unique background or set of experiences that colors the narrative in unique ways. If we fail to ask them, and then really listen to them, we miss the opportunity to grow.

Great leaders don’t command; they listen. They recognize that influence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about being the most trusted, real, and impactful one.

Lesson 3: Courage – Sticking Around When Things Get Tough

In the fable’s dramatic conclusion, the bears return home to find their porridge eaten, chairs broken, and an uninvited guest in their bed. What does Goldilocks do? Startled, she flees, never to be seen again. Instead of sticking around to face the consequences, she’s gone. This is a move no leader can afford to make.

Leaders must stick around. When things get tricky or scary, the leader needs to stay to see it through. Instead of running from danger, they should lean in and move through it. True leadership requires courage. When a company faces layoffs, when a crisis unfolds, when the unexpected happens, strong leaders don’t retreat.

Courage is often misunderstood as fearlessness, but really, it’s about moving through fear. Whether leading troops into battle or delivering tough news to a team, leadership demands the courage to be vulnerable, honest, and empathetic as you enlist others towards your vision.

In 2025—where backlash, scrutiny, and “cancel culture” loom—many leaders find it easier to hesitate or not show authenticity. But the best leaders know that courage isn’t about avoiding risk; it’s about standing firm in purpose, values, and responsibility.

Final Thought: Goldilocks’ Leadership Report Card

So, how did Goldilocks do as a leader?

Agility? She nailed it. She adapted quickly and didn’t settle.

Understanding authority? Big fail. She assumed permission instead of earning influence.

Courage? She ran when things got tough.

Her story is a reminder: Leadership isn’t about finding the just the right fit for yourself—it’s about creating the best possible environment for those around you. That’s a lesson worth remembering and repeating.

Lida Citroën, author of THE NEW RULES OF INFLUENCE: How To Authentically Build Trust, Drive Change, And Make An Impact, is an award-winning branding and reputation management expert who designs and enhances the identities of executives, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders globally. As CEO and founder of LIDA360, LLC, Citroën is sought-after for her knowledge of personal brand development, reputation management, leadership communication, and online positioning. For more information please visit www.Lida360.com.

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a couple of emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog delivered to your inbox every week!

What Goldilocks Can Teach Us About Leadership

February 10, 2025/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones