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Timing Is Key: When to Intervene in a Conflict

May 8, 2023/1 Comment/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Communications, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

 

office conversation

Learn how to address conflict in your organization to make it a net positive.

Today’s guest post is by Beth Fisher-Yoshida, Ph.D, author of New Story, New Power: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiation (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of life. It appears in our workplaces in a variety of ways, from slight disagreements to full-blown brawls. We often run away from dealing with conflict simply because it’s uncomfortable.

This discomfort comes from not having the skills to address conflict well, reliving bad memories of previous conflicts that didn’t go well, lacking the time to have a proper discussion, believing it’s not worth the effort, or hoping that if we ignore it, it will go away. Or a combination of all of the above.

Of course, the conflict might fade away with time. New priorities could take over. Or the conflict could fester and grow. This is one of the inherent risks in not addressing conflict early, and leaving it for later.

In an organizational setting, the type of intervention that’s effective in the first few months of a conflict is different from what might be effective after one year, or even after five years. It may sound strange, but as an external, impartial consultant, I’ve been called in to address conflicts that have been present for five years (and more!).

Positive versus painful interventions

In the initial phase of a conflict, there’s an opportunity to teach conflict resolution skills to the people who are directly and indirectly affected. Affected employees may be able to address the issues themselves or with the guidance of an impartial third party. By developing these skills and promoting a sense of agency in your staff, they’ll be able to address future concerns before they become problematic. Intervening early turns conflict into a net positive.

However, when conflict isn’t addressed for an extended period of time, painful issues can (and will) mount. Your employees may lose confidence in company leadership because leaders haven’t taken care of them or ensured their workplace is safe. Your staff may become emotionally or physically ill and take time off work to address their health concerns.

Whether employees take time off or remain in a conflict-riddled environment, productivity will drop, and so will your bottom line. Workers will spend time protecting themselves, not sharing information or engaging with others. In the end, everyone loses.

Conflict is an outlet

Conflict itself isn’t bad. How it’s managed makes all the difference. When conflicts surface, it’s a sign that something isn’t right, that an issue may need to be addressed. Maybe some new procedures need to be clarified. Or perhaps staff members aren’t sure how upcoming changes will affect them, and they need to be reassured that their interests are being considered.

As human beings, we often don’t express our underlying concerns constructively. Conflict is one outlet for letting other people know something isn’t sitting well with us. Conflict provides the opportunity for good discussions, brainstorming to surface great ideas, and transparency so that everyone is on the same page moving forward.

Here are three ways to be more preventive than reactive to the conflicts that arise in your organization:

Invest in skill development. Everyone can benefit from learning more about themselves and how they communicate with others. Many of us think we’re good communicators, and while we may be, there are always new and improved ways to reach different people, come together and solve complex issues, and remedy problems.

As your staff develops these skills, they’ll gain confidence so that when they need to address uncomfortable issues, they’re better prepared to do so, which will lead to better outcomes.

Lead by example. As a leader, you have more influence than anyone else in the organization. By participating in these same development activities, you’ll send a clear message: you value these skills so much, you’re devoting your time to them, too.

Actions speak louder than words when you demonstrate that you’re a strong leader who is open to being a lifelong learner.

Engage outside expertise. There are times when issues can be handled internally, utilizing the expertise of HR professionals or an organizational ombudsperson, if there is one. But at other times, there will need to be a stronger display of impartiality.

This is a good time to bring in an external consultant with the expertise you need. Staff members impacted by the conflict can confidently share their comments with this external consultant. This information can then be collected and aggregated so that no one individual is identified. In the spirit of transparency, the consultant’s reports can be shared so staff members understand what their colleagues are experiencing.

Of course, leadership will need to support this and be willing to implement the recommendations as feasible and appropriate.

Make conflict a step forward

Reframing conflict as a potentially good and informative process, when addressed well and early, is a step forward in creating a healthier and more collaborative work environment.

new story new powerBeth Fisher-Yoshida, Ph.D., CCS, is a global expert and educator in negotiation and communication. She’s the program director of Columbia University’s Master of Science in Negotiation and Conflict Resolution, a negotiation consultant for the United Nations, and the CEO of the consulting agency Fisher Yoshida International. Her new book, New Story, New Power: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiation, helps women of all ages make successful negotiations a reality. Learn more at bethfisheryoshida.com.

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How deliberate are you about applying change management practices when your team faces a large change?

May 4, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Career, Leadership, Poll /by Trevor Jones

Our reader poll today asks: How deliberate are you about applying change management practices when your team faces a large change?

  • Very: I put a lot of effort into managing the change and dealing with change issues 46.47%
  • Somewhat: I apply change management practices for big and important changes 46.46%
  • Not very: I infrequently apply change management practices in the face of change 5.05%
  • Not at all: I’m not sure what good change management practices even look like 2.02%

Change doesn’t happen on its own. 93% of you report being reasonably rigorous in your change management efforts. Bravo! Underestimating how challenging a change will be can doom your decisions to failure. Since so many of you report doing a good job in your change management efforts, take those skills to the next level. Start teaching your team members how to properly manage change. Don’t let it be a process they learn by osmosis. Help them see how you think about change. Show them the tools you use to manage change. Include them in change planning. Delegate parts of the change management to them so they can learn to be change leaders in the future. A leader’s job is to create the next generation of leaders. Here’s a great opportunity for you to build your team members’ skills.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

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Modeling the Right Behaviors for Your Team

May 3, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Leadership, Project Management, Strategy /by Trevor Jones

Learn why modeling accountability is essential for leaders, and how it can strengthen team culture by creating a transparent and supportive environment.

As a leader, you need to model the behaviors that you want from your team members. People watch a leader’s every move. Setting that example is a critical element of modeling accountability and creating the right culture on your team. The words you use. When you say I versus we. Do you say I when something goes wrong? Or do you only say it when things go right? Do you say we when something goes wrong? Or when something goes right? It sets a tone for who’s accountable for those actions.

As you think about whether you’re modeling the right behaviors or not, some questions you should ask yourself are as follows:

Do I say I or we more frequently? And in what situations do I use those words?

Do I proactively let the team know, “Hey, I’ve made a mistake, and here’s what I’m doing to resolve it?”

Do my team members say I or we? And again, in which situations? And do I reward or praise people for owning up to a mistake and fixing it? Or do I punish them when they bring that mistake forward?

A to-do for you as a leader, as you look to model these accountability behaviors, is to pick a recent mistake you’ve made. And we’ve all made them. Then sit down and discuss it with your team. Let them know, “I made a mistake. Here’s why I made the mistake. And here’s what I’m doing to fix it.” Then go that next step and let them know, “Here’s why we’re having this conversation. I want to model the right set of behaviors for you.”

If you’re able to do this on a regular basis, and praise people for owning up to mistakes, calling things out when you make mistakes, and then driving that accountability where it belongs, you’re going to go a long way to strengthen the culture of accountability on your team.

Want to learn more about building accountability into your culture? How about taking an entire course on it? Check out the video below to learn more about the course and get started. Or you can go directly to the course and start learning how to build accountability into your culture. The entire course is available at LinkedIn Learning. Enjoy!

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

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When You’re Overwhelmed, I Want You to Picture Balloons

May 1, 2023/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

balloons

By talking through our day-to-day concerns, we can uncover the mechanisms at work behind our thoughts, actions, and patterns. When we gain internal clarity, the weather has a way of clearing up. 

Today’s guest post is by Rachel Rider, author of Who You Are is How You Lead (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

“Rachel, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m totally overwhelmed.”

This was the first thing out of my client Thalia’s mouth. Like so many in leadership positions, as the CEO and Founder of her company she was being pulled in 10,000 directions and needed to make several high stakes decisions.

“I’d like to start with an exercise, if it’s ok with you, Thalia,” I said. “I’d like you to picture everything you’ve got going on right now, and, one by one, I’d like you to name your concerns. As you do, I want you to assign that concern to a balloon. I’d like you to give the balloon a color, and a place in the room.”

As a master coach and founder of MettaWorks, I find that when clients come to me feeling cloudy or overwhelmed, an exercise like this is a great way to help decide what to focus on. It’s also a great way to discover what’s going on beneath the surface of the problems. And, asking visionaries like Thalia to picture balloons is a good icebreaker – admittedly, it sounds a little ridiculous at first.

Thalia was game. The first issue was assigned a yellow balloon at the back of her chair. This balloon was Thalia’s board’s decision to move headquarters out of its founding office and into a new location across town. A location that Thalia disliked, and, she knew, would change the presenting culture of the organization. The second balloon, green, hung over her couch. It was the cost of inflation that was pushing the company’s touchstone product beyond reach for a primary demographic, a demographic that Thalia cared about deeply. The third balloon, blue, was right above her head. This was her partner’s decision to plan a 50th wedding anniversary for her parents during Thalia’s busiest quarter. And so on.

When Thalia had named and placed all of her concerns in balloons around her, I asked her to take a look at the room. “Notice the space between the balloons,” I said, “and the space between you and the balloons. What comes up for you?”

“Well,” she said, “I feel the space. But I also feel like the balloons are attached to my sides by strings.”

“Let’s ask your nervous systems what we can do about that. Can we cut the strings? Is there someone you trust who could hold them for you?”

“No,” said Thalia, suddenly forceful. “What I’m feeling is, I can and I should hold all these strings. I can manage this myself. I have to manage this myself.”

Thalia paused and looked down. “You know what? There’s something else. It’s like, if I don’t hold these strings this tight, I might lose my grip and they’ll just float away. If I’m not holding on as tight as I can, I could fail.”

And there it was. Beneath the cloud cover of everyday concerns – the board, the cost of the product; Thalia’s partner’s parents’ golden anniversary – was the reason Thalia felt she couldn’t let go. Underneath it all was her belief system at work. If she didn’t hold on tight to each thread, she would lose control, and fail.

This is the power of inner work. By talking through our day-to-day concerns, we can uncover the mechanisms at work behind our thoughts, actions, and patterns. When we understand the mechanisms at work, we can begin to redirect our energies in ways that further our goals, rather than hold us back, and act with clarity.

For Thalia, uncovering her belief system was step one. “I can’t imagine letting go,” said Thalia, after our exercise, a little dismayed.

“But that’s great,” I said. “It’s time to celebrate! Those belief systems have done a great job. They’ve gotten you this far, right?” It’s only through understanding and appreciating our belief systems that we can fully grasp how they’ve worked. “Step two is taking what you’ve learned about your belief system and giving it a new job, like leveraging the people around you.”

And that’s what Thalia did. As we worked together, and as we began to address her underlying belief system, Thalia was able to see which issues she needed to attend to herself, and which were better left attended by her team. Space on her calendar and in her mind opened up so that she could actually enjoy the beautiful company she built and take her vision – and her company – to the next level.

When we gain internal clarity, the weather has a way of clearing up. To learn more about MettaWorks and what inner work can do you for you, read on here.

rachel-rider-bookRachel Rider founded MettaWorks in 2015 after a distinguished career in HR, receiving executive coaching certification from Columbia University, and extensive training in meditation, Somatic Experiencing, and Polarity Therapy. She is the author of Who You Are is How You Lead. 

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Which of these approaches best describes how you develop your people?

April 27, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Career, Leadership, Poll /by Trevor Jones

Our reader poll today asks: Which of these approaches best describes how you develop your people?

  • I’m a coach: I guide them to coming up with their own answers 37.44%
  • I’m a mentor: I share my experiences so they can learn from them 37.44%
  • I’m a trainer: I walk them through skills step by step to help them grow 14.78%
  • I’m a manager: I tell them the task and standards and correct as needed 7.39%
  • I don’t use any of these approaches 2.95%

Coaches and Mentors First. The majority (75%) of you report taking a coaching or mentoring approach to developing your people. Coaching focuses on asking the right questions to help them find their own answers. Mentoring is more about sharing your experiences so the person can learn from them. What’s most important here is recognizing which of those approaches you’re taking and if you’re using them in the right situation. Being deliberate with your choice of approach can get better results. If you’re coaching but the person is really struggling to figure out a good solution, switching to a mentoring approach can be helpful to guide them to possible answers. If you’re mentoring and they’re not identifying with your situation, a coaching approach can help them generate a solution that better fits them. Be flexible in your approaches and intentional about which one you use given the situation.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

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From Accountable to Responsible

April 26, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Leadership, Project Management, Strategy /by Trevor Jones

 

office team in circle

Learn why it’s important for your team to understand the difference between accountability and responsibility.

It’s important to understand the difference between accountability and responsibility. Accountability is an external force. It’s where a leader imposes consequences for failing to meet obligations or offers rewards if you do meet them. Responsibility is internal. It’s being able to be trusted to do what’s right when you’re not being watched. This is where you hold yourself accountable and reward or punish yourself as appropriate.

Moving from accountable, which is that external force telling you what to do, to being responsible, where you’re internally driven for doing the right thing, will set a tone for your team. People will see they need to hold themselves accountable as well. They’re going to make that shift where they’re not waiting for you to tell them what to do, but instead they’re going to do the right thing because they know it’s the right thing.

You’re going to spend less time monitoring people and more time actually getting stuff done. People will do what they need to do without being told, and you’re going to improve the moral/ethical environment of your team. People are going to do the right thing because it’s right, not because they fear getting caught.

If you’re able to help your people see the difference between accountability and responsibility, and encourage them to make that shift, you’re going to free up time for yourself and improve the overall climate of accountability on your team.

Want to learn more about building accountability into your culture? How about taking an entire course on it? Check out the video below to learn more about the course and get started. Or you can go directly to the course and start learning how to build accountability into your culture. The entire course is available at LinkedIn Learning. Enjoy!

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

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It Takes Courage and Insight to End Workplace Bullying

April 24, 2023/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Career, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Trevor Jones

 

no to bullying

Many people in the workplace are suffering in silence. They are being bullied by abrasive bosses and they fear that if they let anyone know or complain, they will lose their jobs. There is hope.

Today’s guest post is by Dr. Laura Crawshaw, author of Grow Your Spine & Manage Abrasive Leadership Behavior (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

In this age of heightened awareness of inequality, bias, and bad behavior concerning sex, gender, race, age, and ethnicity, employers are increasingly required to provide psychologically safe workplaces characterized by respectful treatment. To do this, employers must be prepared to manage unacceptable conduct effectively.

Abrasive leaders (aka bosses who bully) can be enormously destructive, with management styles involving intimidation, overcontrol, emotional volatility, and inappropriate sexual, racial, and ethnic comments or behaviors. Their unacceptable conduct can wreak havoc on organizations, resulting in the alienation and attrition of valued employees, costly litigation, disrupted productivity, and loss of reputation.

What is the best way for management to tell a leader that their interpersonal conduct is unacceptable? What if they deny their leadership style is abrasive? How do you enlighten someone who is blind to the impact of their damaging words and behaviors?

Do you suffer from spinal paralysis when it comes to managing an abrasive leader? Are you unsure whether their behavior requires intervention? Are you afraid the individual will file a formal complaint against you or, worse, sue you? Do you believe you can intervene only if you’ve personally witnessed the behavior(s) or if the conduct is illegal? Are you waiting for an employee to file a formal complaint before you do anything? Have your employees concluded you’re spineless because you haven’t dealt with your abrasive leader, or even worse, that you actually condone the individual’s behavior?

Telling an abrasive leader to stop being abrasive is like telling a drowning person to start swimming. It’s accurate advice, but not particularly helpful because abrasive leaders see no need to change, and even if they do, they know no better way to achieve their objectives. You’ll encounter denial and defensiveness, with little or no conduct improvement.

Disrespect is the common denominator of all these abrasive behaviors. As one employee put it: “When you come to work, you leave your self-respect at the door and hope to pick it up on your way out.” Do you hear the pain in that statement? You, and only you, can stop this suffering. Anti-bullying laws and workplace civility policies won’t stop it. Management trainings won’t stop it. Bystanders can’t stop it. Human Resources staff don’t have the power to stop it. Only those who manage bosses who bully have the authority to intervene and stop this suffering. That’s you.

What does it take to motivate abrasive leaders to transform their management styles? It takes courageous intervention paired with psychological insight, otherwise known as Management Backbone. This backbone consists of these vertebrae:

1st Vertebra: I Am the Guardian of Our Mission & Employees

2nd Vertebra: My Responsibility to Promote & Defend

3rd Vertebra: Physical & Psychological Safety

4th Vertebra: I Determine Acceptable Performance & Conduct

5th Vertebra: I Monitor & Manage for Both

6th Vertebra: If I Don’t, Who Will? 7th Vertebra: My Perceptions Prevail

8th Vertebra: My Duty to Act on My Perceptions

All of these items are actionable and they serve as a guide to fixing abusive workplaces. And here’s the good news: most bosses who bully can change if their managers motivate them to transform their leadership styles using the correct strategy: management intervention.

Bottom line: Don’t excuse bad behavior in the workplace. Grow a spine, and get busy fixing it.

You can, and you must.

laura-crawshaw-bookDr. Laura Crawshaw has written two books and founded The Boss Whispering Institute, whose mission is to relieve suffering in the workplace caused by abrasive leaders through research and training.

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When you see someone about to make a mistake but it’s not in your area of responsibility, what do you do?

April 20, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Career, Leadership, Poll /by Trevor Jones

Our reader poll today asks: When you see someone about to make a mistake but it’s not in your area of responsibility, what do you do?

  • Offer unsolicited advice and tell them immediately about their upcoming error 33.90%
  • Ask if you can provide guidance and not say anything if they say “no” 53.13%
  • Stand by quietly and let them learn from their mistakes 12.97%

Is your assistance welcome? It’s easy to want to jump in and help someone when you think they’re about to make a mistake. Many of you (34%) report doing that without asking if you can offer a perspective before sharing your thoughts. Other than a safety issue or other case of possible harm, pause for a moment and see if the person is open to your assistance. Sometimes your help isn’t welcome. Sometimes you don’t have context on why they’re doing something a certain way. Sometimes it’s a matter of preference for how they’re going to do something. If it’s not in your area of responsibility, it’s worth a quick “I think something is about to go wrong. Would you mind if I offered some thoughts?” before sharing your perspective. The vast majority of the time, your input will be welcome. You’ll also be showing respect to that person and avoid possibly branding yourself as a know-it-all or someone who butts in. For those who don’t say anything and let people learn from mistakes, consider how you’d feel if someone let you walk into a mistake without trying to warn you. Do you really want to be on the end of the “why didn’t you tell me before I made the mistake?” conversation after things go sideways?

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

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What and Who Are You Accountable To?

April 19, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Leadership, Project Management, Strategy /by Trevor Jones

When you clearly define your accountabilities, the likelihood of you delivering the results that are expected goes up dramatically.

It’s important to understand your own accountabilities, both what you’re accountable for and who you’re accountable to. You’re obviously your own work but also your team’s work. Now be careful—this doesn’t mean do their work for them. It means you have to hold them accountable for delivering those results. And if they don’t deliver, not only are they accountable, so are you. So ask yourself the question, “What do others expect me to do? What results are they expecting of me personally, as well as from my team?”

In terms of understanding who you’re accountable to, there’s the obvious ones. There’s your team. You’re accountable to them to get them the resources they need and give them the coaching and guidance and leadership that they deserve. You’re accountable to your boss. But think more broadly about your accountabilities. You’re accountable to your colleagues and your peers and other members of the company who are relying on your results so they can do their jobs. Think even more broadly. You’re accountable to your customers, internal and external customers. You provide services to other members of your organization. Ultimately, your results drive company performance in terms of the products and services that you deliver to your ultimate customers who pay you. You’re accountable to your shareholders or the company’s owners. The financial results that you deliver on your team roll up to a broader picture, and you’re accountable for delivering your part so those people get the return on their investment they expect.

Allow me to offer an example. I work with a senior executive who is a hospital administrator. He has multiple accountabilities. He’s obviously accountable to his team. He’s accountable to his boss and the corporation as a whole. He’s also accountable to patients, even though his team doesn’t directly care for patients. The results they deliver do have an impact on the patient experience. He’s accountable to other members of the hospital staff. Because again, what his team does helps the staff do a better job. He’s accountable to physicians who work with the hospital, even though they’re external to the organization. He has to represent their perspectives and opinions to the corporation. So this one individual has multiple accountabilities to multiple people.

As you think about defining your accountabilities, ask yourself the following questions. Who’s going to be upset or disappointed if I don’t fulfill my obligations? Who’s going to be happy or excited if I do deliver those results? Who assigns me tasks or asks me to do things? Who do I offer to do things for? Once you have that clear definition of what you’re accountable for and who you’re accountable to, the likelihood of you delivering the results that are expected goes up dramatically.

Want to learn more about building accountability into your culture? How about taking an entire course on it? Check out the video below to learn more about the course and get started. Or you can go directly to the course and start learning how to build accountability into your culture. The entire course is available at LinkedIn Learning. Enjoy!

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11 Proven Ways to Build Rapport in Your Negotiations

April 17, 2023/0 Comments/in Books, Business Toolkit, Communications, Guest Blogger, Leadership, Strategy /by Trevor Jones

two businesswomen talking

If you want better outcomes in your negotiations, you’ll want to master the skill of rapport-building. Here are 11 simple tips on how to do it.

Today’s guest post is by Cindy Watson, author of The Art of Feminine Negotiation: How to Get What You Want from the Boardroom to the Bedroom (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

If you want better outcomes in your negotiations, you’ll want to master the skill of rapport-building. Rapport is all about relationships: finding ways to make (rather than break) connections and build (rather than tear down) bridges. Building rapport diffuses potential tension as it creates a perceived shared frame of reference.

Rapport-building can be instantaneous, or it can take time to develop. It can grow naturally, or you can build it with intention. Some people seem to connect with others instantly. If you’re not one of those people, don’t panic. Contrary to popular belief, rapport-building isn’t an elusive gift you’re either born with or destined to do without.

There are many ways to build rapport in a negotiation. Here are 11 simple tips on how to do it.

  1. Be Yourself.

Being authentic will always be more effective than trying to adopt a persona that’s unnatural for you. A lack of authenticity undermines rapport; the other party will sense it, and this will erode trust.

As you practice the skills that build rapport (including those set out here), err on the side of being yourself. Don’t get stuck in your head or overthink how you’re going about it. If you do, you’ll lose your natural charisma in the process.

  1. Make a Good First Impression.

Study after study have shown that first impressions matter. We all have a visceral reaction to other people within seconds of meeting them. Invite a favorable reaction by getting yourself into a positive state of mind before you start the negotiation. Show up with an inviting posture, a genuine smile, and warmth in your eyes.

  1. Find Common Ground.

While you don’t want to jump straight to business, I’m not a fan of the often-cited advice, “Use small talk to create rapport.” Instead, try to find a common interest or connection. Find your shared humanity. That’s a much better place to start.

  1. Get Curious.

Most people like to talk about themselves. Researchers have found that people spend 60% of their conversations in “me mode.” When chatting on social media, this figure jumps to 80%.

Why not use these stats to your advantage? Show genuine interest in others. Discover what brings them joy. What are they passionate about? Get curious. Ask open questions. Stay genuinely engaged. Ask some variation of “tell me about yourself.” In doing so, you’ll build connection and rapport.

  1. Give a Compliment.

Find something you appreciate about the other person, and then acknowledge it. A genuine compliment can go a long way to kick-start rapport.

  1. Use the Person’s Name.

We all like to be seen. Make a point of calling the other person by name early in the conversation. It creates an immediate connection and familiarity.

A word to the wise: Be sure you have the person’s correct name. Nothing breaks rapport like mispronouncing someone’s name or, worse, calling them by the wrong name.

  1. Be Candid.

If you want to build rapport and trust, always be the person who tells the truth. Admit when you don’t know the answer to something. Acknowledge mistakes.

We often mistakenly believe these types of admissions will undermine our credibility when, in fact, the opposite is true. It humanizes us and makes us more relatable and trustworthy. Being honest builds rapport.

  1. Create Shared Experiences.

Spending time together and creating shared experiences outside the negotiation process can turbocharge the connection process. This doesn’t mean you have to set up a high ropes challenge or whitewater rafting adventure (both popular in today’s team-building culture). Simply pick an activity with the potential to create a meaningful connection.

  1. Mirror and Match.

When it’s appropriate, try to mirror and match the other person’s posture and language. But be careful and discreet about it. Otherwise, your actions will be jarring and break rapport.

A good starting place is to note the other party’s speech patterns, tone, tempo, and volume. Try to match these elements to increase the opportunity for connection.

  1. Gradually Increase Intimacy.

The more you create a personal connection, where the other party feels they know you and gets comfortable sharing with you, the more likely you’ll build the bond necessary for superior negotiated outcomes.

Gradually increasing intimacy by strategically sharing personal information can be powerful. Don’t, however, prematurely overshare and dump inappropriate private information.

  1. Inject Humor.

Humor is the ultimate cure-all and connection-builder. Laughter releases feel-good chemicals (endorphins) in our body, which open the way for better bonding.

Practice Makes Perfect

Get comfortable with these approaches so they become natural, and you’ll slip into rapport-building mode authentically.

For women who worry about their negotiation prowess, it’s worth noting that building rapport is typically regarded as a “feminine” trait. This isn’t surprising, as women were required to develop this skill in a world where, for too long, they enjoyed so few rights. Survival depended on becoming adept at developing relationships.

If you lose rapport at any point in a negotiation, don’t ignore the elephant in the room. Be humble. Address why you lost it. Take ownership where appropriate. Apologize if necessary. Get curious and determine how to get back on track.

By building better relationships, you’ll enjoy better negotiated outcomes.

cindy-watson-bookCindy Watson is the founder of Women on Purpose, a TEDx international speaker, and the award-winning author of the Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestseller The Art of Feminine Negotiation: How to Get What You Want from the Boardroom to the Bedroom. Learn more at ArtOfFeminineNegotiation.com.

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How comfortable are you making decisions in highly ambiguous situations?

April 13, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Career, Leadership, Poll /by Trevor Jones

Our reader poll today asks: How comfortable are you making decisions in highly ambiguous situations?

  • Extremely: I don’t mind ambiguity at all and it doesn’t slow me down 11.69%
  • Very: I can deal with most ambiguity and make relatively quick decisions 50.94%
  • Somewhat: I don’t like ambiguity and it can slow my decisions down 26.17%
  • Not very: I dislike ambiguity and often wait to make decisions 9.34%
  • Not at all: I wait for ambiguity to be resolved before making decisions 1.86%

Some comfort with ambiguity. 63% of you report being fairly comfortable with making decisions in ambiguous situations. Well done. There’s no shortage of uncertainty out in the world and “letting everything settle” simply exposes you to new sources of ambiguity. For those not as comfortable with the unknown, one thing that can get you unstuck is recognizing that many decisions are reversible if you get new information. Additionally, know that there is a cost to waiting to make a decision – missed opportunities, frustrated employees and customers, and loss of competitive advantage. Do your best to identify what you don’t know, assess the impact of each unknown variable on the outcome, identify the biggest risks, then make a decision with a plan to monitor those large risks. When you disaggregate the unknown, it makes it a lot easier to make a call and move forward.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

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Is It Time to Revise Your Goals?

April 12, 2023/0 Comments/in Business Toolkit, Leadership, Project Management, Strategy /by Trevor Jones

woman writing on whiteboard

When your goals become irrelevant, it’s important to revise them and change your priorities accordingly.

Markets can change quickly. Those changes can alter priorities. They can render some of your goals irrelevant. When that happens, change the goal. Do so quickly so the team can change its focus to higher priority objectives. It’s foolish to continue pursuing an irrelevant goal. Be willing to change it and set new goals that are more appropriate for that new environment.

I know one startup that had an original goal of site traffic. They were concerned mostly with how many people are coming to their website. The initial funding they received was based on those initial goals. Follow on funding was based on them hitting those traffic numbers. Their business model changed. They learned more about the customer. They figured out it was much more important for them to focus on how much time a user was spending on their site instead of just overall traffic.

The company was about to have a big meeting with possible partners and a new funding source, but to have that meeting they needed money to fly the executive team out to California to meet with this new partner. When they went to the original investors and asked for money, they original investors said no. They refused to change the original goal. They said they wouldn’t provide any additional funding until the organization hit that metric, but the metric was no longer relevant. The company went under, and it was pretty sad that they did. Even though this is an example of a company versus a business unit, the lesson remains the same. When the environment changes, revisit your goals and see if they need to change.

Review your current goals. Ask, are any of them no longer relevant? Has the market changed? If they’re not relevant, revise the goal. Focus the team on something more meaningful. Change your priorities accordingly. If you’re inflexible and say, “Well, we set this goal at the beginning of the year, and, you know what, we’re going to stick with it even though the market has changed,” you’re going to get results that follow that metric. Be willing to shift. That’s a sign of maturity in your organization that you’re willing to assess the market environment and change your priorities accordingly.

Want to learn more about setting business unit goals? How about taking an entire course on it? Check out the video below to learn more about the course and get started. Or you can go directly to the course and start learning how to set business unit goals. The entire course is available at LinkedIn Learning. Enjoy!

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

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