It Takes Courage and Insight to End Workplace Bullying

Many people in the workplace are suffering in silence. They are being bullied by abrasive bosses and they fear that if they let anyone know or complain, they will lose their jobs. There is hope.

Today’s guest post is by Dr. Laura Crawshaw, author of Grow Your Spine & Manage Abrasive Leadership Behavior (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

In this age of heightened awareness of inequality, bias, and bad behavior concerning sex, gender, race, age, and ethnicity, employers are increasingly required to provide psychologically safe workplaces characterized by respectful treatment. To do this, employers must be prepared to manage unacceptable conduct effectively.

Abrasive leaders (aka bosses who bully) can be enormously destructive, with management styles involving intimidation, overcontrol, emotional volatility, and inappropriate sexual, racial, and ethnic comments or behaviors. Their unacceptable conduct can wreak havoc on organizations, resulting in the alienation and attrition of valued employees, costly litigation, disrupted productivity, and loss of reputation.

What is the best way for management to tell a leader that their interpersonal conduct is unacceptable? What if they deny their leadership style is abrasive? How do you enlighten someone who is blind to the impact of their damaging words and behaviors?

Do you suffer from spinal paralysis when it comes to managing an abrasive leader? Are you unsure whether their behavior requires intervention? Are you afraid the individual will file a formal complaint against you or, worse, sue you? Do you believe you can intervene only if you’ve personally witnessed the behavior(s) or if the conduct is illegal? Are you waiting for an employee to file a formal complaint before you do anything? Have your employees concluded you’re spineless because you haven’t dealt with your abrasive leader, or even worse, that you actually condone the individual’s behavior?

Telling an abrasive leader to stop being abrasive is like telling a drowning person to start swimming. It’s accurate advice, but not particularly helpful because abrasive leaders see no need to change, and even if they do, they know no better way to achieve their objectives. You’ll encounter denial and defensiveness, with little or no conduct improvement.

Disrespect is the common denominator of all these abrasive behaviors. As one employee put it: “When you come to work, you leave your self-respect at the door and hope to pick it up on your way out.” Do you hear the pain in that statement? You, and only you, can stop this suffering. Anti-bullying laws and workplace civility policies won’t stop it. Management trainings won’t stop it. Bystanders can’t stop it. Human Resources staff don’t have the power to stop it. Only those who manage bosses who bully have the authority to intervene and stop this suffering. That’s you.

What does it take to motivate abrasive leaders to transform their management styles? It takes courageous intervention paired with psychological insight, otherwise known as Management Backbone. This backbone consists of these vertebrae:

1st Vertebra: I Am the Guardian of Our Mission & Employees

2nd Vertebra: My Responsibility to Promote & Defend

3rd Vertebra: Physical & Psychological Safety

4th Vertebra: I Determine Acceptable Performance & Conduct

5th Vertebra: I Monitor & Manage for Both

6th Vertebra: If I Don’t, Who Will? 7th Vertebra: My Perceptions Prevail

8th Vertebra: My Duty to Act on My Perceptions

All of these items are actionable and they serve as a guide to fixing abusive workplaces. And here’s the good news: most bosses who bully can change if their managers motivate them to transform their leadership styles using the correct strategy: management intervention.

Bottom line: Don’t excuse bad behavior in the workplace. Grow a spine, and get busy fixing it.

You can, and you must.

Dr. Laura Crawshaw has written two books and founded The Boss Whispering Institute, whose mission is to relieve suffering in the workplace caused by abrasive leaders through research and training.

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