When a top employee resigns, how should a leader respond? Discover best leadership practices for handling transitions with integrity and support.

Today’s guest post is by Mark C. Fava, author of “LESSONS FROM THE ADMIRAL: Naval Wisdom and Sea Stories for Leaders”

You have trained and mentored an employee for years. You have invested time and money to ensure their development, success, and future. You have poured your soul and wisdom into them. They are on your high-performance list and your succession plan for the future.

Then you get the email, or they poke their head into your office.

They ask, “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure,” you respond, as you have done many times before. “What’s up?”

“Look, I have really enjoyed my time here and am so thankful for everything you have done for me. I have valued every day and have grown both professionally and personally, but I have been presented with a new opportunity that I don’t think I can pass up.”

Then it hits you. This is going to be a resignation discussion. They have found another job and are leaving. You feel confused, upset, and perhaps a little betrayed. You have worked to invest in this person for years, and they want to go elsewhere. How could that possibly be?

How does a leader respond?

This scenario has happened to me twice, once as a naval officer and later as a civilian aviation attorney.

I discuss the first time in the last chapter of my book, “Lessons from the Admiral: Naval Wisdom and Sea Stories for Leaders.” I had been in the prestigious position as an admiral’s aide for seventeen months.

The Admiral had hand-picked me for this job. We were together almost every day, from well before sunrise to well after sunset. I trusted him and he trusted me. However, after six years as a naval flight officer, I decided to leave active duty military service and transition to the Navy Reserves to attend law school. That was a significant decision based on my military career success and the time I had already invested in the Navy, and the Navy had invested in me.

When I told the Admiral, he looked up at me and paused. “Are you sure?” he asked.

I responded, “Yes, sir.”

He continued, “Can I talk you out of it?”

“No sir,” I said with my heart pounding.

“No changing your mind?” he asked.

“No sir,” I said as sweat grew in my armpits.

“Okay,” he said with a deep sigh. “What can I do to help you, Mark?”

I will never forget that response. At that time, I knew he could have summarily relieved me of my position as his aide. Many in the Navy would deem my leaving active service a retention failure on his part.

That was authentic leadership. He also helped me by writing strong letters of recommendation for my law school applications and a glowing final military evaluation report.

Fast forward almost twenty years later when I was faced with the same decision to leave a law firm. I had worked incredibly hard and built a multi-million dollar book of aviation business, handling litigation cases and regulatory matters for many air carriers and aviation operators. I had expressed concern to the managing partners about what I perceived to be the gross inequity of the pay scale based on the revenue I was bringing into the firm compared to those who did not have a book of business, but over the years, continued to be compensated at much higher pay. They were being paid on an antiquated model based on seniority that had disincentivized the up-and-coming top producers like me.

I had expressed my frustration many times to no avail. I finally set up a meeting with the managing partner to show him my business’s financial numbers and growth trajectory. I diplomatically tried to make the case that the compensation structure was patently unfair.

He listened patiently and then said, “Mark, we have had this discussion several times, and the compensation system will not be changed for you. If you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror every day, maybe this is not the place for you. You’re just going to have to wait your turn. Others have. And I’m not going to have this discussion with you again.”

I got the message loud and clear. Honestly, it was a message that I needed to hear. That day, I learned that one’s destiny is, in many respects, controlled by one’s own actions. So, I took action and left the firm within the next three months.

I was polite and diplomatic when I informed the managing partner of my resignation. I stated that I had another opportunity and thought it would be best for my family and me to move on. I loved the firm and the lawyers there but couldn’t stay.

Three weeks later, when I got my final check, the firm had decided not to compensate me on a pro-rata basis for the revenue I had brought to the firm when my pay terms were based on that. There was no requirement that I complete the full year to receive that incentive payment. Unfortunately, it took several heated discussions with the managing partner before that pay was sent to me weeks later.

Unlike my positive departure from military service years before, the law firm departure became a miserable experience and a lousy memory. I remember both vividly today.

So, what do you say when an employee announces their resignation politely and honorably? From a leadership perspective, the best practice is to help them with the transition and cheer them on as they leave.

Over the years, as a boss and leader, I have had several key employees come in and have that resignation discussion. I look up at them and say, “Gosh, I really hate to see you go. Can I change your mind? If not, how can I help you?”

Mark C. Fava, author of LESSONS FROM THE ADMIRAL: Naval Wisdom and Sea Stories for Leaders, is a speaker, retired US Navy Captain, and career aviation lawyer at the world’s largest aerospace manufacturer. He was not the Admiral. He resides in Charleston, South Carolina. For more information, visit www.markcfava.com.

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Learn three valuable leadership lessons from the classic fairy tale, Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Today’s guest post is by Lida Citroën, author of “The New Rules of Influence: How to Authentically Build Trust, Drive Change, and Make an Impact.”

Think back to the 19th-century children’s fable, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. A young girl, lost in the woods, stumbles upon a home that just happens to belong to a family of bears. (Can we say breaking and entering?) Trying to orient herself, she samples their food, tests their chairs, and eventually crashes in their beds—all in search of what feels “just right” to her.

The story has been analyzed for generations, but what if we looked at it through the lens of leadership? What can Goldilocks’ choices—both smart and misguided—teach us about how to lead effectively?

Lesson 1: Agility – Adapting to What’s in Front of You

When Goldilocks saw three bowls of porridge, she didn’t hesitate. She was hungry, so she tried them all—one was too hot, one too cold, and one felt just right. She applied the same approach to the chairs and beds, seeking the best fit instead of settling.

What Goldilocks demonstrated was an agile mindset. She didn’t waste time forcing herself to eat burning-hot porridge or suffer through an uncomfortable chair—she pivoted until she found what worked.

As leaders, an agile mindset is essential when facing adversity, uncertainty, or rapid change. When faced with challenges, great leaders embrace uncertainty with curiosity and flexibility. Instead of freezing or fleeing, we can embrace the ambiguity and acknowledge that an open mind can serve us best here. Agile thinking leads to growth mindset, which leads to innovation, risk taking, and entrepreneurial thinking.

In The New Rules of Influence, I write: “Being agile means moving past perceived threats and recognizing that you’re simply moving closer to your purpose, your mission, and the influence you need to share with others.” For leaders, this means abandoning the tired excuse of “this is how we’ve always done it” and instead asking: “What’s possible? What are we missing? What’s next?”

Lesson 2: Positional Authority – Leadership Isn’t About Rank

Goldilocks made a fatal leadership mistake: she assumed she was entitled to things that weren’t hers. The house wasn’t hers. The food wasn’t hers. The bed wasn’t hers. Yet, she took what she wanted, assuming she had the right to do so.

In the past, rank, status, and title offered leaders certain privileges and entitlements. An outdated leadership model—one where rank, title, and status automatically granted power—gave leaders the ability to dictate direction, expect compliance, and assume influence came with their position.

But did it really?

Sure, employees followed orders, but were they genuinely influenced by those leaders, or were they just complying out of obligation because their career and paycheck depended on it?

Today, authority and positional power are being replaced by influence at all levels in the organization. No longer should we only hear from the person behind the podium—we also value the voices in the back of the room. The intern, the frontline employee, the person with a unique perspective—they all bring insights that challenge assumptions and spark progress. Maybe they see things differently. Perhaps they come from a unique background or set of experiences that colors the narrative in unique ways. If we fail to ask them, and then really listen to them, we miss the opportunity to grow.

Great leaders don’t command; they listen. They recognize that influence isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about being the most trusted, real, and impactful one.

Lesson 3: Courage – Sticking Around When Things Get Tough

In the fable’s dramatic conclusion, the bears return home to find their porridge eaten, chairs broken, and an uninvited guest in their bed. What does Goldilocks do? Startled, she flees, never to be seen again. Instead of sticking around to face the consequences, she’s gone. This is a move no leader can afford to make.

Leaders must stick around. When things get tricky or scary, the leader needs to stay to see it through. Instead of running from danger, they should lean in and move through it. True leadership requires courage. When a company faces layoffs, when a crisis unfolds, when the unexpected happens, strong leaders don’t retreat.

Courage is often misunderstood as fearlessness, but really, it’s about moving through fear. Whether leading troops into battle or delivering tough news to a team, leadership demands the courage to be vulnerable, honest, and empathetic as you enlist others towards your vision.

In 2025—where backlash, scrutiny, and “cancel culture” loom—many leaders find it easier to hesitate or not show authenticity. But the best leaders know that courage isn’t about avoiding risk; it’s about standing firm in purpose, values, and responsibility.

Final Thought: Goldilocks’ Leadership Report Card

So, how did Goldilocks do as a leader?

Agility? She nailed it. She adapted quickly and didn’t settle.

Understanding authority? Big fail. She assumed permission instead of earning influence.

Courage? She ran when things got tough.

Her story is a reminder: Leadership isn’t about finding the just the right fit for yourself—it’s about creating the best possible environment for those around you. That’s a lesson worth remembering and repeating.

Lida Citroën, author of THE NEW RULES OF INFLUENCE: How To Authentically Build Trust, Drive Change, And Make An Impact, is an award-winning branding and reputation management expert who designs and enhances the identities of executives, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders globally. As CEO and founder of LIDA360, LLC, Citroën is sought-after for her knowledge of personal brand development, reputation management, leadership communication, and online positioning. For more information please visit www.Lida360.com.

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