Hi. I’m Gunner. I’m Mike’s Jack Russell Terrier. Mike is busy right now cleaning up my poop in the grass so I figured I’d give him a break from writing and write this week’s blog post for him. He’s a good human so he deserves a treat.
Mike’s always going on and on about how to do stuff good at work so I guess I’ll write about that (even though it would be more fun to write about butt sniffing). Here’s how I see the world and how you humans can maybe do stuff like I do it. You’ll have more fun and be happier if you do.
When I want stuff, I just tell people. If I want to go potty outside, I scratch the door. If I want food or water, I flip my bowl over with my nose. If I want to play, I shove my Frisbee in Mike’s lap until he throws it. If I’m mad, I growl and bare my fangs. It’s pretty straightforward. I tell the human exactly what I want. The human gives it to me. The only games I play are fetch and super fetch.
When you silly humans communicate with each other, you have all these confusing words and don’t always say what you really think or want. I suggest being clearer and more straightforward with what you want. I know when I do that I tend to get what I want.
Managing Your Schedule
Mike thinks I operate on his schedule. He’s so dumb. I have my own stuff to do. Like sometimes he’s rushed to get to a meeting and I look at him with my “I gotta poop” face and he takes me outside. He thinks just because he’s in a hurry that I’m going to hurry too. Dummy. I have grass to smell, squirrels to growl at, people to say “hi” to, and acorns to taste. Sometimes I do my things for like ten minutes before I get to Mike’s priority of me pooping. These things take a while! Eventually I do my business and he cleans it up. I have him pretty well trained.
You guys should do things like I do. Just because someone else says something is a top priority, it doesn’t mean you should drop everything and do it. Figure out where it fits good in your schedule and get your work done too. Just be sure to eventually get their stuff done too but do it on your timeline.
Mike isn’t always a good listener. Sometimes I have to tell him things like a billion times before he does it. There was this one time he was laying on the couch watching TV and I put my Frisbee on his head 38 times before he threw it and started playing fetch like I wanted him to. I could have given up but fetch was really important to me so I kept at it. Eventually I got what I wanted and he was super-excited to play because he yelled a lot the next 29 times I brought him the Frisbee.
If you want something, you’ve gotta keep at it. Don’t give up if you don’t get what you want the first few times. Communicate clearly what you want and just keep telling people. Eventually they’ll either give it to you or they’ll tell you you can’t have it and you can move on with life.
I watch you humans all the time and it seems like all you do is bang your paws on these clicky things on the black box with the light square. I guess you think that’s fun or something (and as I’m clicking these things I can see it’s kinda fun). But I don’t see you guys play fetch or Frisbee enough. I like playing all sorts of games like chew the blanket, jump on the couch, fetch, random pee on things, and barf and run. They’re all awesome games. Mike gets excited about all of them judging by the way he yells my name when I play them.
You humans have to play more. Get off the clicky thing and go outside. Chase each other or run around. It’s a lotta fun and I know I always feel happier after I play. You should try it. Give yourself some time off and you’ll be happier.
I’m awesome at sleeping. I like blankies and pillows and curl up in a little ball in the sun and snoooooze the day away. It’s so good. I sleep lots and lots. When Mike tries to sleep, I try to help him. I run all around him when he’s laying down and I check he’s properly tucked in. I get real close to his face to make sure his eyes are shut and then I lick his face to kiss him goodnight so he sleeps good. I know he likes when I do these things because he always yells my name when I do it.
You guys are awake too much. You don’t take enough naps, you stay up late, and you get up early. That sucks. You should nap more. I know when I nap lots I have more energy for playing and running and sniffing. I bet if you nap more and go to bed better, you’ll hit the clicky thing faster and have more fun doing it.
I hope you learned good while Mike was on Poop Patrol. You seem like nice humans. Maybe sometime you come see me and play fetch.
– Gunner at thoughtLEADERS, LLC
Gunner is a 6-year old Jack Russell Terrier. He enjoys fetch, chewing Mike’s things, and peeing on stuff. Other than the thoughtLEADERS Blog, he’s an avid fan of DogShaming.com and one day hopes to make the leaderboard on that site.