What is the biggest challenge you face when delivering difficult feedback?

Our reader poll today asks: What is the biggest challenge you face when delivering difficult feedback?

• I get emotional too easily 5.98%
• I have a hard time separating the behavior from the person 18.91%
• I struggle to offer concrete behavior change suggestions 10.94%
• I soften the message too much and the feedback doesn’t “land” 47.76%
• Something else 16.41%

Don’t Soft-Peddle Feedback. A large percentage of you report softening your feedback messages too much and they’re not received correctly. This comes from a desire to be liked. We believe if we offer critical feedback that the recipient won’t like us therefore we soften the message to stay liked. Unfortunately you’re doing them (and yourself) a disservice. They’re not hearing input that is designed to improve their performance which means they’ll continue making the same mistakes or demonstrating unproductive behaviors. For you, you’ll have to continue dealing with the issue instead of correcting it. There are feedback models that focus on the behavior and not the person (which will also help the 19% of you who said you have trouble with that aspect of feedback). If you can remember to focus on the behavior and not the person and recognize you’re providing them useful input that they’ll appreciate if it’s delivered well, you’ll be able to offer more effective feedback.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

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These results were originally a SmartPulse poll in SmartBrief on Leadership which tracks feedback from more than 240,000 business leaders. Get smarter on leadership and sign up for the SmartBrief on Leadership e-newsletter.