When you have to deliver a tough message, what best describes your approach?
Our reader poll today asks: When you have to deliver a tough message, what best describes your approach?
- I deliver it directly and without apology or cushioning: 32.15%
- I strike a balance between tough news and positive news: 62.15%
- I soft-pedal the message and risk it not being received: 4.28%
- I avoid delivering the message and hope they’ll figure it out on their own: 1.42%
Beware the “But” Sandwich. 62% of you report delivering tough news but trying to balance it with positive news. Another 6% soft-pedal the feedback message or don’t deliver it at all. That’s not fair to the person who needs to get the message. For the 6%, you’ve deprived them of an opportunity to improve. They are likely unaware of the issue (which is why it’s happening) and would probably like to rectify it if they know about it. For those who are balancing a tough message with a positive one, it probably sounds like “You’re great, but… here’s some tough news… but, here’s why you’re great.” The risk is they hear everything before the first but and everything after the second but and the part in the middle that’s the tough message gets minimized or missed. While this approach might make you feel better and make it easier to deliver the tough message, you’re risking them not getting the message and the behavior recurring. Step up. Deliver the tough message and instead of soft-pedaling, talk about how you’ll help them correct the behavior and improve their performance.
– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC
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These results were originally a SmartPulse poll in SmartBrief on Leadership which tracks feedback from more than 240,000 business leaders. Get smarter on leadership and sign up for the SmartBrief on Leadership e-newsletter.
I encourage my executive coaching clients to provide constructive feedback rather than constructive critique, because when we do the latter, we tend to focus on critique, and not enough on constructive. Further, I ask them to bring a blend of Direct, Kind, Diplomatic, and Honest, in equal measure. They’ve told me this has had an enormous impact on how they handle discussions like this, and more important, their team members’ receptivity to the feedback and their desire and ability to improve performance.