Our reader poll today asks: When you’re angry with a team member, how do you approach it?
- I cool off and don’t show any emotion when I speak with them. 45%
- I wait a bit to talk to them but show them some of my anger. 51%
- I pause first but let them see a lot of my anger. 3%
- I unload my anger toward them immediately so they can see it. 1%
Pause and compose. The vast majority of you (96%) pause for some period of time before confronting a colleague who has made you mad. Cooler heads can have more rational discussions. The groups seems evenly split, though, on whether to show some of the anger when the conversation does happen. The pro of showing that anger is the person really gets a sense for how much they’ve upset you, but the con is it could inflame the situation. Conversely, not showing your anger and simply expressing concerns could cause them to misread how much their actions upset you, which might lead to repeat behavior. In any case, deliberately choose which approach you’ll take (whether or not to show some anger) and have a deliberate reason for doing so. Also, have a contingent strategy if your choice goes wrong. If you’re showing anger and it makes things worse, hit pause and cool off. If they seem to be ignoring your concern, perhaps let some of the anger show.
Do you agree with these poll results? Let us know in the comments below!
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These results were originally a SmartPulse poll in SmartBrief on Leadership which tracks feedback from more than 240,000 business leaders. Get smarter on leadership and sign up for the SmartBrief on Leadership e-newsletter.