New Office Dares (Because The Office Is Boring!)

Let’s face it – there are days at work you wish there was ANYTHING you could do to break through the tedium. A few years ago, I came across a list of office dares that was absolutely hilarious. A colleague and I actually played (and scored quite well, mind you). It definitely made the days more enjoyable.

Along those lines, I’d like to offer a refreshed list of office dares you can do to break through the monotony. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DO ANY OF THESE AND BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU, I INVOKE THE KRUSTY THE CLOWN DEFENSE OF “DON’T BLAME ME! I DIDN’T DO IT!” AND ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. (My lawyer made me include that clause…).

To be clear – many of you indicated in our poll below you enjoy our “balanced lifestyle” posts (of which this is one). Life without humor is inherently unbalanced. Given that, I present to you a 2008 list of new office dares:

Send things via interoffice mail to the person in the office next to you. When asked why you did that, reply “I really didn’t feel like seeing your face.”

Use the huge binder clips to attach two-page memos

At your next staff meeting, make your team wear name tags

Insist people refer to you as Zoltar the Destroyer

Ask you coworkers if they saw you on last night’s episode of COPS

Use the label maker to label everything in your office (chair, stapler, phone, pen, paperclip, etc.)

Change your voicemail greeting to “I’m here. I’m just avoiding your call.”

Place bathroom breaks on your calendar in Outlook. (Bonus points: invite coworkers to those events)

Change your on hold music to “Take This Job And Shove It!”

Ask someone in Purchasing to go grocery shopping for you

Redirect the corporate IVR to your boss’ phone extension

Quote Neil Diamond in staff meetings

Place awkward religious or political quotes in your email signature block

Talk like the Hamburgler all day (“Robble robble!”). Or like Yoda. Or only speak Wookiee.

Type your memos in Wingdings and tell your colleagues it’s “so the Russkies won’t crack your code”

Wear a Burger King crown all day

During a one-on-one meeting with your boss, tell them “I’d prefer we take this conversation offline.”

Ask to be responsible for finding a speaker for your offsite then hire a clown to make balloon animals

Wear a Hawaiian shirt as part of your suit ensemble

Place photos of your colleagues on HotOrNot.com and run a pool for the hottest employee

Hard code your Excel models (i.e., no formulas – just type in the numbers)

During a 9-box exercise, challenge all comers to a winner takes all game of tic tac toe

Write your memos in crayon

Eat a whole box of Oreos before a client meeting (bonus points for doing this if you’re a dentist)

Wear a tin foil hat to prevent IT from “stealing your thoughts”

On a job interview, present a letter of recommendation written by your mother. When they ask for another letter, give them one from your grandmother

Invite the entire company to connect to you on Plaxo and LinkedIn

Tell the Compensation Department you prefer to be paid in apples

In your end of year review with your boss, every time they provide feedback simply state “I know you are but what am I?”

Shave only one side of your face. When asked about it, reply “I’m pacing myself.”

Build a cardboard door for your cubicle

If you work in IT, set the thoughtLEADERS Blog as the corporate homepage

Ask your boss if they have a deck of cards for solitaire because your “computer is down”

Place stale pretzels in the snack jar on your desk and offer them to visitors. When they make a comment about the pretzel, reply “Yeah. I thought they were stale too.”

Call all the members of your team “Frank” and explain you’re doing it because it’s simply easier to remember and you’ve got better things to do than learn their names

Winzip everything. And password protect it

Place a fire extinguisher on your desk and explain it’s there “just in case”

Submit a help desk ticket because your computer slows down dramatically while you’re playing Boxhead Zombie Wars (as I mentioned in the Pwned post) on addictinggames.com)

Ask HR if your voodoo witch doctor appointments are reimbursable from your flexible savings account

The challenge: submit your dares below via comment! The best ones will be included in an updated version of this post! Look, I know we’re usually pretty serious and cover some weighty topics like leadership, strategy, and career most of the time. The lesson here is to lighten up every once in a while and laugh. You’ll feel more alive and do better work if you do.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC