Balanced Lifestyle – Page 18 – thoughtLEADERS, LLC: Leadership Training for the Real World

10 Reasons Your Team Hates You (They Just Won’t Say It To Your Face)

September 28, 2009/63 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Communications, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

Your team hates you. Really. They do. They hate their boss (you) but they just won’t say so because they like getting paid. But when they go home at night, they spill their bile about their taskmaster of a boss who does nothing but drive them crazy (isn’t that what you do too?).

It’s been a while since I’ve been controversial (okay, maybe the post on trust not being the most important aspect business partnerships was provocative but I’m talking controversial at the level of the I don’t care about your degree post). For this post, I’ve been sure to drink a glass of vinegar before typing.

If you don’t start fixing some of these behaviors, you might end up with a mutiny on your hands. In today’s world though, that doesn’t involve them tossing you in a dinghy – instead they’ll all just quit their jobs.

Before you go all “Mike has lost it again. This post doesn’t apply to me so I won’t read any more of it.” I’d ask you to spend the 2-3 minutes it will take to spin through the below list and see if any of the points resonate. If you make it through all ten and can honestly say none apply to you, bravo (related: are you hiring?).

If some of the points do resonate, I’m asking you to commit to rectifying some of these behaviors. We’ll all be happier that way. To assist with that, I’ve offered some suggested behavior modifications for each of the ten.

Full disclosure – I’ve been plenty guilty of some of the below behaviors. Fortunately I’ve had talented folks around me help me work on many of them. I’m not perfect by a long shot yet. I guess what I’m saying is all of these things apply to all of us even in some small measure.

So here goes… 10 Reasons Your Team Hates You:

Building Resilience So You Can Thrive in Turbulent Times

July 22, 2009/2 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Business Toolkit, Guest Blogger /by Mike Figliuolo

Please welcome Belinda Gore to the blog. Today she shares some thoughts on how you can build your resilience to turmoil. Here’s Belinda:

Resilience is a hot topic these days as people try to figure out how to bend with the winds of economic change without breaking. I’m reading articles that link resilience with positive self-image, courage and commitment, emotional maturity and integrity.

The challenge seems to be what to do to develop resilience when yours is getting low.

To start down the path of building your resilience and ability to deal with today’s frantic pace of change and stress, there are three practices you can start building immediately.

Time for a Little Spring Cleaning for Your Work Life

May 26, 2009/3 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Business Toolkit, Career, Project Management /by Mike Figliuolo

It’s a great time of year. Beautiful weather, flowers blooming, and 110 bags of mulch to be spread tell you it’s spring. Now is when we traditionally clean our homes and yards. It’s also a great time to clean up your work and professional life.

Face it – we’re creatures of habit and averse to change. Over time though those habits and that aversion can lead to cluttered and less-than-fully productive work lives. I encourage you to take this week to do some spring cleaning on your career and your professional life.

To save you the effort of thinking about how to do so, I’ll offer a few thoughts on things I’ve found helpful in doing my own cleaning. Grab your mop, your cleaning supplies, and your yard tools. It’s time to get to work. Hey! Where are you going? Get back here… you’ll be happier and more efficient after this cleaning. I promise.

You’re Better Than You Think

May 4, 2009/5 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Career, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

I’m pretty sure I can safely say that individuals who read our blog are achievers. You work hard, seek to develop your skills, and look forward to the next goal in front of you.

I’ll also bet you’re your own harshest critic. You probably beat yourself up at the smallest perceived failure. Some of you do more damage to yourselves than that funky albino monk in Da Vinci Code did to himself with that nasty rope of his. Sometimes your self-deprecating humor isn’t very humorous.

Stop it. Now.

These negative thoughts don’t just affect your performance – they rub off on your team. If you’re not careful you can create an environment where your standards are perceived as unreasonable and where praise seems extremely hard to come by. Over time, that erodes your team’s morale and can eventually lead to turnover (not to mention a lousy standard of living for you).

We’re going to get a little cerebral and introspective today. I ask you to do so in the spirit of getting on a healthier mental track. Do so not just for the benefit of your team but for yourself, your friends, and your family.

So how can you do this? My suggestion: assess, admit, and act.

Building a Personal Board of Directors

April 27, 2009/6 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Business Toolkit, Career, Entrepreneur, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

Whether you’re in big business or an entrepreneur, you need advice from time to time. External perspectives can be incredibly valuable. They’ll round out your thinking, help you work through complex problems, and identify new opportunities for growth.

Unfortunately many of us don’t have a formalized group of advisors – we simply pick up the phone or stroll by the office of anyone who will listen. That construct is only partially effective. The advisor may not have time to chat. They might be unfamiliar with the issue you’re dealing with. They might not even care to help but you’ve imprisoned them for 30 minutes with your plaintive “can you please help me?” request. The result? You get suboptimal and, sometimes, even bad advice.

There’s a better way. You should create your own personal board of directors.

In the corporate world, a board of directors is composed of ostensibly wise outside senior advisors to the leadership team. Their job is to help set direction, solve complex problems, and hold the business accountable against a variety of standards. Their role is formalized (meet once a quarter, they’re compensated, they have employment agreements, etc.). There are expectations placed on these individuals both by those within the company and those outside it (shareholders, regulators, etc.).

Fortunately for you, setting up your own board of directors should be less cumbersome. No employment agreements. No shareholders. But you still need to set standards. Here’s how I use mine:

Seven Things Most People Don’t Know About Me

December 11, 2008/11 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Communications, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

So this is a bit of a “non-traditional” post for this blog but a great idea sent to me by Lisa Hoffmann. It’s clear that blogging, twittering, linking in, facebooking, etc. are more about the conversation and relationships than traditional websites. It’s about personalization (which is a huge aspect of leadership).

Knowing someone as an individual is a foundation for closer relationships and more effective leadership. It also enhances the probability that you’ll learn more rapidly because you’re better at integrating more perspectives into your decision making processes.

To that end, I’m sharing seven things you may not know about me in an effort for you to get to understand the man behind the blog a little better. I’m also going to suggest seven other people you should get to know and understand.

So here goes – 7 things you might not know about Mike Figliuolo:

Read more

Some Families & Little Kids Need YOUR Help!

December 5, 2008/5 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Upcoming Events /by Mike Figliuolo

Please note – the contribution window for this has closed. Thanks to all who supported the effort. Just because this event is closed doesn’t mean you can’t help. Go volunteer somewhere. Donate. Make someone else’s life better. Thanks!

Let’s face it – you’re pretty fortunate. You’re reading this by accessing the Internet over your laptop while sitting in the comfort of your home drinking your Starbucks quad shot venti caramel macchiato. Imagine NOT being able to pay for Internet access. Imagine NOT having your laptop. Imagine NOT being in your home because you no longer have one. Pretty grim, huh? Well that’s EXACTLY the situation some folks I’d like to help are in.

The Ohio State – Marion Psychology Club is sponsoring the Giving Tree Project, in which we all can help needy families during the holiday season. The families being helped are the victims of domestic violence. They’ve escaped from some terrible situations in their homes sometimes with nothing more than the clothes on their backs. They’ve found shelter and protection at Turning Point Domestic Abuse Shelter. They need YOUR help.

Due to a difficult economy, the project to give them a happy holiday has not raised as much money as they’d like. I’m asking your help to solve that problem. I’m asking you to donate whatever you can to your local shelter. All funds will be used to purchase items these families desperately need (and yes, I’m kicking in a nice chunk of change too).

Some of the gifts the families have requested are socks for a six year old little girl whose favorite color is purple (yes… she simply wants SOCKS for Christmas!). Another is a size 14 boys coat (the child only wants to be warm). One of the mothers is pregnant and due with a little girl on the 29th of December. The mothers asked for items for their children such as underwear, socks, shoes, shirts, pants, boots, and coats but didn’t ask for much of anything for themselves. The only thing a couple of them requested was a set of pots and pans for when they get a place to stay. As far as gifts outside of necessities, some of the kids are hoping for i-pods (there are a few teenage boys), bikes, toy trucks, light up toys, hair bows, etc. It would be nice to be able to give these children a holiday with gifts other than basic necessities as they are already going through a very tough time.

I’ve tried to give you a lot through this blog (articles, ideas, guest bloggers, etc.). I’ve never asked anything of you other than to read it and enjoy it for free. I’m asking for something now. It’s not for me – it’s for a six year old girl whose toes are cold. Please be generous. Please donate. Thank you so much for your generosity – I truly appreciate it.

I wish you all a blessed, safe, and happy holiday season. Please help me give that same blessing and happiness to others who are in need.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

New Office Dares (Because The Office Is Boring!)

September 17, 2008/8 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle /by Mike Figliuolo

Let’s face it – there are days at work you wish there was ANYTHING you could do to break through the tedium. A few years ago, I came across a list of office dares that was absolutely hilarious. A colleague and I actually played (and scored quite well, mind you). It definitely made the days more enjoyable.

Along those lines, I’d like to offer a refreshed list of office dares you can do to break through the monotony. DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DO ANY OF THESE AND BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU, I INVOKE THE KRUSTY THE CLOWN DEFENSE OF “DON’T BLAME ME! I DIDN’T DO IT!” AND ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. (My lawyer made me include that clause…).

To be clear – many of you indicated in our poll below you enjoy our “balanced lifestyle” posts (of which this is one). Life without humor is inherently unbalanced. Given that, I present to you a 2008 list of new office dares:

A Leadership Lesson from Kung Fu Panda’s Master Oogway

July 28, 2008/0 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

I recently saw Kung Fu Panda. My expectations were quite low. I mean, a panda that does kung fu? A jackrabbit I could buy… but a panda? Then again I’m a huge Jack Black fan. The biggest and most pleasant surprise though was Master Oogway the turtle (or is it tortoise? I always get those confused). His wisdom was entertaining and enlightening. The best part is, it’s also applicable to everyday leadership and life.

There’s a scene where Oogway is dropping some knowledge (as a kung fu master is wont to do). The dude is pretty deep for a turtle. He states “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

I stopped slurping on my white raspberry slushy and thought for a moment “wow, the turtle has a point.” The implications of Oogway’s statement reverberated throughout the cosmos with a thunderous clap. The dude was talking about how we move through life and, more importantly, how we can show up as leaders. Sure, right now you’re thinking that slushy gave me a brain freeze and that’s why this whole turtle/kung fu/leadership notion is so confusing so allow me to explain.

You’ve Been Pwned!

June 30, 2008/4 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle /by Mike Figliuolo

Given this is a short 4th of July week and I’m sure you (like me) don’t want to use too many brain cells, I figure we’ll keep it light and have some fun. Then again, fun is what it’s all about, isn’t it?

So many times we while away the days being the consummate professional. We read professional journals. We write professional messages. We hold professional meetings. We wear professional clothes. Sometimes we push the limits and read SEMI-professional blogs like this one (which is a wonderful little guilty pleasure).

Unfortunately this professionalism bleeds over into everything we do. Professionalism eventually becomes the ultimate buzzkill. And once that happens, life sucks.

Allow me to illustrate. My son’s school has a huge outdoor games at the end of the year. There’s a picnic, games, blow-up climbing thingies, etc. Parents are invited. Here’s the first rub – it occurs during the day therefore a lot of parents don’t attend due to work. For some, that’s a reasonable reason to miss the event. For others who have flexibility, it was a lame excuse.

It’s Funny How Death Provides Perspective

March 1, 2008/1 Comment/in Balanced Lifestyle, Business Toolkit, Career /by Mike Figliuolo

I’m back on my kick about perspective. Wow. It’s incredibly easy to get sucked in by work and worry about insignificant things. Many times you’ll find this happening only to have life provide you a clarifying moment. And in that moment, you’re given an opportunity to refocus on things that actually matter. The death of your best friend can have that effect on you. Let me rewind…

Things have been hectic for me lately. Ramping up my own business is a daunting task. I find myself playing owner, trainer, accountant, lawyer, salesman, administrative assistant, travel booker, etc. I wear every hat on the rack. And don’t get me wrong – it’s fun. I thrive on living in the swirl of the chaotic world of business. The problem is, being involved in so many things occasionally leads me to focus on the wrong things. They’re not “wrong” in and of themselves. It’s more that they’re not as important as other things in life.

It’s been busy for me over the past few weeks. New clients. New services. Exciting stuff. Sure there have been a few annoyances too but they happen (sort of like a printer manufacturer whose service department will be the subject of an upcoming post on broken promises to customers). These annoyances have absorbed an increasing and disproportionate amount of my time and energy lately. Then I got a phone call on Wednesday as I was driving home from a client.

It was my best friend’s brother. This friend was a roommate of mine at West Point. Twice. Ty and I became brothers. We lived together. Laughed together. Complained together. The forge of the Academy’s grey granite walls molded a bond between us that became unbreakable through the years. We talked every week. And now, tragically, I got this phone call.

Balanced Lifestyle: Wearing The Burger King Crown

February 26, 2008/2 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Career, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

It’s easy to get upset when things don’t go well at the office. Or we are disappointed when things don’t work the way they should on a project. We get locked into long term incentive plans. Over time we begin to believe we’re going to be doing what we’re doing forever. In those situations, it’s time to wear the Burger King crown! (I’ll explain in a minute). We seem to easily lose perspective and learn helplessness in the dailiness of our jobs.

The effects of losing perspective are toxic. Hairs gray. Midriffs expand. Arteries clog. Nerves fray. Many of you reading this are overachievers (a conclusion I’m making based on an assumption you’re here to learn and improve yourself and your career). Let me ask this – when’s the last time you laughed at the office (and not that “Harrumph. I can’t believe this crap.” laugh. A REAL laugh because something was funny)? Has it been a while? Another diagnostic question – when is the last time you were frustrated at the office? Exactly 6 minutes ago, right? And how important was the matter? Really? A computer bug? A meeting? I’m betting it wasn’t life or death (unless you’re a neurosurgeon in which case I’d prefer you read up on your medical journals rather than this blog so when they wheel me into the hospital you’re better equipped to care for me).

It’s not hard to get sucked up in the vortex of crap that can become our jobs. By submitting to the vagaries of life, we’re creating “Captain Stupid” – a super villain who torments us with seemingly-meaningful events called our “jobs” but in the process breaks down our very humanity. Suicidal Tendencies sings about this pernicious little chap. My favorite verse is:

Hanging light bulbs with glowing one isolated on dark blue background

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