Only Time + Empathy = Loyalty

Dr. Sam Adeyemi describes how empathetic executives and C-suite leaders retain top talent and generate loyalty among employees.

Today’s guest post is by Dr. Sam Adeyemi, author of Dear Leader: Your Flagship Guide to Successful Leadership. (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

Over 97% of employers think social skills can significantly impact an individual’s job performance. But are those same leaders practicing what they preach? Is their leadership truly empathetic and capable of inspiring loyalty?

When I ask fellow executives which values guide their leadership, nearly every response is some reiteration of “courage, vision, and perseverance.” While these traits are certainly admirable qualities for any successful leader, their importance often overshadows the softer social skills necessary for organizational well-being, such as empathy, integrity, and authenticity. In fact, 86% of employees report a more sustainable work-life balance when working under leaders they would describe as empathetic. Those employees are more productive, more content, and much more likely to stick around for the long term.

So, what are these executives doing right? How do successful leaders demonstrate empathy to their employees and inspire greater retention as a result? Overall, there are five distinctive traits that define empathetic leaders, and it is these applied behaviors that empower their leadership and inspire long-lasting loyalty from their team members.

1. They make empathy a priority.

As a leader, empathy is your bridge to understanding the needs of others, and it is an essential characteristic for those who hope to get the very best effort from each individual. That said, empathy is certainly not automatic, and even successful leaders are sometimes clueless about how to demonstrate empathy to their employees. More often than not, this failure is rooted in their refusal to make empathy a major priority within the workplace, which inhibits the evolution of compassion both inside and outside each respective team.

The consequences are very real, and can have profound effects on any organization. Nearly 60% of employees have previously left jobs because they did not feel valued by their supervisor, and 85% of those employees believe empathetic leadership increases productivity across the board. By neglecting empathy, an executive is not only creating a less welcoming workspace, but they are also directly undercutting the bottom line.

2. They pay really close attention.

There’s listening — then there’s active listening. Only one is actually meaningful to your employees.

Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, once wrote, “We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding and true empathy.” When the COVID pandemic first started to change the world in 2020, many executives issued universal messages of encouragement to all their employees: “We’re all in this together.” Of course, this statement is fundamentally incorrect and does nothing to consider and accommodate for the realities of each team member. Even when we’re all getting wracked by the same storm, it’s important for empathetic leaders to understand we are all weathering the situation from very different boats with very different resources and demands. The only way for a leader to achieve this level of understanding is through active and inclusive listening.

3. They connect with people — not with process.

When successful employees first move into leadership positions, they can sometimes lose their ability to connect with others. Thanks to newly developed power dynamics, many up-and-coming leaders make the mistake of establishing connections with the workplace itself, as opposed to the people behind the process. These leaders are capable of extraordinary understanding, but only as it applies to the needs of the process — or the end result. When it comes to understanding the needs of actual team members, their empathy and concern is unfortunately MIA.

Truly empathetic leaders apply this heightened level of understanding to every individual. This tactic takes a lot more work, and it certainly demands more nuance, but the results are undeniable. After all, 76% of people with highly empathetic senior leaders report often or always being engaged, compared to only 32% of people with less empathetic senior leadership.

4. They play the long game.

Empathy doesn’t develop overnight. It is something that is slowly demonstrated through your considerate actions as a leader. There is not ONE thing to do or say that will make you an empathetic executive. There is no SINGULAR shortcut you can take to acquire a detailed understanding of your team members. With active listening, the right priorities, and the right connections, empathy will certainly develop naturally, but that development will operate according to its own organic timeline.

Simply put, you can’t fully understand even one of your employees in a short amount of time, much less an entire team of diverse professionals. Empathy is essential, but it isn’t immediate. The most successful executives accept this fact from the very beginning.

5. They are prepared to struggle.

Though unquestionably essential to sustainable success, developing true empathy for your employees isn’t exactly easy. Demonstrating empathy places new demands on your time, and understanding begets misunderstanding, meaning more mediation and one-on-one followup from every executive. This is why any comprehensive effort to become a more empathetic leader will not only take time, but it will also include establishing more inclusive processes, managing conflicts, and facilitating more transparent communication.

If you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, then you probably can’t become a truly empathetic leader without buying out the whole chicken house. That said, you’ll have enough omelets to feed an army, and that army will be a loyal team of employees who feel authentically heard and understood.

Start your transformation.

Want to be a leader who inspires loyalty? Establish yourself as an empathetic executive. With the right priorities, the right connections, active listening, and just enough patience, your leadership can be empowered by its own empathy — its own ability to understand the needs of every team member. With such empathy and authenticity, your time at the helm can be both highly productive and radically transformational.

Atlanta-based Dr. Sam Adeyemi (SAY: Ah Day yeh me) is CEO of Sam Adeyemi, GLC, Inc. and founder and executive director of Daystar Leadership Academy (DLA). More than 45,000 alumni have graduated from DLA programs, and more than 3 million CEOs and high performing individuals follow him on top social media sites. Dr. Sam’s new book is “Dear Leader: Your Flagship Guide to Successful Leadership.” He holds a Doctorate in Strategic Leadership from Virginia’s Regent University, and is a member of the International Leadership Association. He and his wife, Nike (say Nee keh) have three children. Learn more at SamAdeyemi.com.

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