The last time you provided difficult feedback, how did it go?
Our reader poll today asks: The last time you provided difficult feedback, how did it go?
- The reaction was much better than I expected. 36%
- The reaction was about what I expected. 54%
- The reaction was much worse than I expected. 11%
It’s not as bad as you expect. While many of you got pretty much what you expected the last time you delivered difficult feedback, more of you were positively surprised by the reaction than negatively surprised. That’s not surprising. Giving feedback is a stressful process. We don’t like delivering tough messages and we mentally prepare ourselves for conflict going into the conversation. Recognize that people appreciate being told when something isn’t going well. The vast majority of people want to do better and are happy to hear ways they can do that. To get more comfortable with delivering tough feedback, use a standard feedback model that provides facts first, then interpretation, then a call for action. By starting with the facts, you remove emotion from the situation and people are much more willing to hear what you have to say rather than getting defensive and debating it.
Do you agree with these poll results? Let us know in the comments below!
– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC
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These results were originally a SmartPulse poll in SmartBrief on Leadership which tracks feedback from more than 240,000 business leaders. Get smarter on leadership and sign up for the SmartBrief on Leadership e-newsletter.
I disagree with this poll. People deeply admire it when they hear about what is not working for them, and what I hope is that the person who is giving feedback would think , “Well, how can I do something that will make this persons life easier” .I don’t know if they do ask themselves that question, but it would be nice if they did.When you understand what that person is going through, When people see that you are actually interested in helping them to find a solution for a problem it creates an effect that contributes to the welfare of the people whom you are giving feedback.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. While I agree with your comments, I’m not sure what there is to disagree with on the poll. It’s data reflecting how leaders felt after giving feedback the last time they provided it. Sure, in an ideal world people receive feedback like you suggest. It’s not an ideal world. People often react poorly to receiving feedback. Also, managers should be adept at providing helpful and constructive feedback. Again, it’s not an ideal world and many managers lack this skill. So while I agree with your suggestions on how people should receive feedback, I also agree with the poll data that shows feedback providers and recipients aren’t always great at handling feedback situations.