• Contact
  • My Account
  • Log In
  • 0Shopping Cart
thoughtLEADERS, LLC: Leadership Training for the Real World
  • About
  • Services
  • eLearning
  • Team
  • Blog
  • Clients
  • Books
  • Contact
  • Menu Menu

Build your skills! Take our eLearning courses on TITAN!

World-class eLearning courses with videos, exercises, downloads, and a certificate of completion. Get started today!

Structured Thought: Problem Solving
Structured Thought and Communication
Strategic Business Planning
Principles of Chart Design eLearning Course
Engagement Management
Deliberate Decision Making
Breakthrough Innovation
Everything is Negotiable
Leading through Change
Storytelling for Leaders
Storytelling for Salespeople
Building Leadership Resilience
Compelling Executive Presence
Coaching for Impact
Building Personal Resilience
Building Personal Resilience
Wide Banner SPS
Wide Banner STC
Wide Banner SBP
Wide Banner PCD
Wide Banner ENM
Wide Banner DDM
Wide Banner BTI
Wide Banner EIN
Wide Banner LTC
Wide Banner SFL
Wide Banner SFS
Wide Banner BLR
Wide Banner CEP
Wide Banner CFI
Wide Banner BPR
Wide Banner TMM
previous arrow
next arrow

Treat Your People Like Individuals to Get Better Engagement

October 4, 2017/0 Comments/in Books, Communications, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

One Red Apple in a Group of Green ApplesThe following is an excerpt from One Piece of Paper: The Simple Approach to Powerful, Personal Leadership (CLICK HERE to get your copy). This post focuses on the importance of knowing and treating the members of your team as individuals.

The better you understand your people, the better you will relate to them. First you must treat them like individuals. No one wants to be a nameless cog in a big machine. All too often we inadvertently make people feel that way. You disagree, you say? Have you ever heard or said things like the following?

“She’s my analyst.”

“Talk to my project manager.”

“My VP thinks we should do this.”

Where are the faces that go with those statements? How different would the culture of our organizations be if “she,” “project manager,” and “VP” were replaced with “Terri,” “Jack,” or “Kim?” People lose their identities when we refer to them by title alone. They begin to feel interchangeable, one-dimensional, and replaceable. If you do not agree with this assessment, go home and refer to your spouse as “husband” or “wife” or your significant other as “fiancée,” “boyfriend,” or “girlfriend.” That would not go over too well, would it?

Referring to someone by position or title alone dehumanizes them. Harkening back to the “manage things, lead people” mantra, I would like to call your attention to the word “people” – not “positions.” Leading people requires you to treat and understand them as the unique beings they are. The personal foundation of the relationship between leader and led creates the common ground of trust and respect necessary for a good leadership environment. Leadership without personal understanding is superficial, impersonal, and ineffective.

It can be difficult getting to know people as individuals. Even if we try to learn more about them, the world conspires to limit our opportunities for meaningful conversations. Schedules are crazy and there is little to no time for conversation of a personal nature. People change roles often. By the time you start to know them they are moving on to their next role so why even bother? Excuses, excuses. I would argue that spending personal time with your people is much more important than a staff meeting or some other routine work. Go grab lunch. Have coffee together. Talk. I am not telling you to become best friends with your people. I am simply encouraging you to know them as more than “my project manager” or “my analyst.” When they know you care about them as individuals they are much more interested in giving you everything they’ve got because they begin caring about you too. They want to see you succeed because they genuinely like and understand you as a person. Caring inspires them to give you their best effort.

We all want to be recognized for who we are, not for the role we fill. There is no “I” in team but there is a “ME” in there. People want to be part of something greater than they are but they want to retain their identity and individuality in the process. Here is a little experiment I would like you to conduct: the next time you see a waitress, a bellman or anyone else in the service industry who wears a name tag, call them by name as you speak with them. Watch their reaction. In the instant you say their name, you have humanized them. I will bet they are much more interested in fulfilling your request simply because you called them by name. The same dynamic applies to members of your team. If you recognize them as individuals, they will be happier and contribute more to the organization.

I have a maxim that consistently reminds me to treat my team members as individuals and to get to know them as people as much as I can. It is a gentle behavioral reminder that keeps me focused on learning about others.

The maxim I use to remind me to treat my team members as individuals is “You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.”

As with all my maxims, this one has a personal story behind it. It was taught to me by the partner in charge of a consulting project I was assigned to. He was my boss’ boss. We were at dinner with the senior leadership team from a new and important client. This was one of my first consulting projects and I wanted to make a good impression. I was still a little insecure in my role and my abilities as a consultant.

I felt a strong need to impress the client executives. As we ate, the clients asked me about my background. When I started telling army stories they expressed a genuine interest. The more interested they got, the more stories I told. By the time we finished eating they had heard about all my military exploits.

After dinner, the consulting partner running the project asked me how I thought dinner went. I said it was a wonderful meal and the clients seemed like fantastic people. Of course I would think that – they politely sat there and listened to my life’s story.

The partner then asked me what I learned about the client over the course of the meal. I paused and thought hard but I was unable to come up with anything meaningful as a reply.

“Mike, I’m glad you had a good time at dinner. Here’s a little feedback for you along with something you might find helpful going forward – you have two ears and one mouth for a reason.” My problem was painfully clear after he said this. “We’re here to help the client get better. The only way we can do that is if we understand them and what’s on their minds. If you listen twice as much as you talk, you have a much better chance of understanding them than if you do twice the talking and half the listening.”

Ouch. The truth can sting but learning from it helps the pain go away.

From that day forward that statement was one of my maxims. I adopted it as a reminder that to understand people you have to listen to them. The maxim reminds me to ask more questions than I answer.

When I find I am suffering from a case of motor-mouth I try to use this maxim to get myself to shut up and listen. I will admit I am not always successful. I am a pretty loquacious guy and there is a reason I am a speaker for a living. Given those biases, this maxim is even more important to me than it would be to someone who is naturally introverted.

When I remember to apply this maxim I find I learn a great deal about people and what is important to them. When they are listened to they feel valued. The act of listening tells them I am interested in their stories, backgrounds, problems, and perspectives. In short, they feel like they matter.

How do you remind yourself to know and treat your team members as individuals?  Share your suggestions in the comments below.

One Piece of Paper by Mike Figliuolo– If you’re serious about strengthening the connection between you and your team, grab yourself a copy of One Piece of Paper: The Simple Approach to Powerful, Personal Leadership. There are plenty of suggestions in there for how you can strengthen your relationship with your team members. CLICK HERE to get your copy.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

https://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/logo.png 0 0 Mike Figliuolo https://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/logo.png Mike Figliuolo2017-10-04 06:50:142018-08-07 19:22:52Treat Your People Like Individuals to Get Better Engagement
0 replies

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Get free blog posts by email NOW!

It’s the best 5 minutes a week you can spend on your development.

Subscribe HERE!


All Contacts

Get new posts FREE via RSS!
Follow thoughtLEADERS on LinkedInFollow thoughtLEADERS on twitter
This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.
 

Check Out Our Courses

Our courses teach immediately applicable skills that have real impact on your business. From leadership to strategy and negotiation to conflict resolution, we have a broad set of course offerings that will drive immediate performance improvements.
OUR COURSES

Our Courses

Group of Business People Meeting
Puzzle Pieces
Glasses Looking Over Cityscape
Doors on a Wall
Cog Wheels
Man Reading Book
Fishing hook in the sea
Microphone in Lecture Hall
Charts on Blue Background
Wristwatch
Exploding Light Bulb
Man on Summit of Mountain
Lightning Bolts
Man Painting the Word Change on a Wall
Construction Cranes
Plant Growing in a Hand
High Performance Gears
Men Shaking Hands Closeup
Influence Definition
Sailboat at Sunset
Hanging light bulbs with glowing one isolated on dark blue background
Wagon Wheel
Executive Communications
Structured Problem Solving
Creating Leadership Maxims
Leading inside the Box
Deliberate Decision Making
Simple Strategic Planning
Storytelling for Leaders
Storytelling for Sales
Executive Presence
Principles of Chart Design
Time Management Mastery
Breakthrough Innovation
Leadership Resilience
Conflict Resolution
Leading through Change
Project Management Reality
Coaching for Impact
High Performing Teams
Everything is Negotiable
Leading with Influence
Building Personal Resilience
thoughtLEADERSHIP
Engagement Management
previous arrow
next arrow
 

eLearning Courses on TITAN

Structured Thought: Problem Solving
Puzzle Pieces
Structured Thought: Problem Solving

Clearly define a problem, scope all issues related to the problem, generate potential solutions, then analyze and select the best solution by using time-tested critical thinking methods and tools.

VIEW COURSE
Structured Thought and Communication
Group of Business People Meeting
Structured Thought and Communication

Craft clear and compelling recommendations that resonate with stakeholders. Get your ideas approved by using a proven method for delivering executive-level communications.

VIEW COURSE
Principles of Chart Design
Different Types of Line and Bar Charts
Principles of Chart Design

Create well-designed presentation charts that get your message across quickly and clearly to drive your audience to action. From data charts to concept charts, these methods help make your point.

VIEW COURSE
Engagement Management
Wagon Wheel
Engagement Management

Whether you’re an internal or external consultant or a project leader, learn proven methods, techniques, and processes to effectively lead consulting engagements that drive your client’s success.

VIEW COURSE
Strategic Business Planning
Cog Wheels
Strategic Business Planning

Use a straightforward and effective strategic planning process that shows how to craft a clear, compelling plan for your organization - not just one time, but on an ongoing basis year after year.

VIEW COURSE
Deliberate Decision Making
Deliberate Decision Making
Deliberate Decision Making

Make better, faster, and more effective decisions. Apply simple yet powerful decision making tools to define decision authority, manage risk, increase accountability, and drive execution.

VIEW COURSE
Everything is Negotiable
Men Shaking Hands
Everything is Negotiable

Become a better negotiator in all situations – from day to day interactions to hammering out large deals. Build the skills required to get what you want and strengthen relationships while you do.

VIEW COURSE
Breakthrough Innovation
Exploding Lightbulb
Breakthrough Innovation

Generate and select unique strategies that separate you from the competition. Construct bold and disruptive solutions then build and execute a plan for taking those strategies to market.

VIEW COURSE
Storytelling for Leaders
Man reading stories from a book
Storytelling for Leaders

Create business stories that inspire people, build connections with your audience, and ultimately advance your organization's goals by using a repeatable, straightforward method.

VIEW COURSE
Storytelling for Salespeople
Storytelling for Salespeople
Storytelling for Salespeople

Create and deliver stories that will take your sales efforts to the next level. Connect with and convince buyers in all situations using memorable stories. These stronger relationships drive more sales.

VIEW COURSE
Leading through Change
Leading through Change
Leading through Change

Lead your organization through the most challenging times using a proven change management process. Get people through the change and back to driving performance quickly and effectively.

VIEW COURSE
Building Leadership Resilience
Mountain Climbing Expedition
Building Leadership Resilience

Prepare your body and brain to be ready for and recover from your biggest challenges. Build approaches for overcoming stress, managing reactions to difficult events, and leading more effectively.

VIEW COURSE
Compelling Executive Presence
Compelling Executive Presence
Compelling Executive Presence

Build your ability to connect with your audience and convey your ideas in a clear and resonant way. Create meaningful connections between you and your audience to build buy-in.

VIEW COURSE
Coaching for Impact
Plant Growing in a Hand
Coaching for Impact: Foundation Course

Coach employees for performance and development more effectively by helping them identify and pursue their own solutions. Create the right environment and conditions to help them grow.

VIEW COURSE
Building Personal Resilience
Boat at Sunset
Building Personal Resilience

Build the habits and learn the behaviors required to manage stress, deal with adversity, and maintain your physical and mental wellbeing. Personal resilience is a key to your ongoing success.

VIEW COURSE
Time Management Mastery
Watches
Time Management Mastery

Learn techniques to manage your time, delegate, say “no,” and be more efficient. Balance your limited supply of time with the overwhelming demands that are placed on you every day.

VIEW COURSE
previous arrow
next arrow

Books You MUST Read

The Elegant Pitch
One Piece of Paper by Mike Figliuolo
Lead Inside the Box
10 Stories Great Leaders Tell
Getting Ahead
Sell with a Story
Lead with a Story
Mastering Communication at Work
The Hook
Innovative Leadership Fieldbook
Innovative Leaders Guide to Transforming Organizations
The Three Commitments of Leadership
The Littlest Green Beret
Storytelling in the Land of Oz
The Camino Way
The Inner Matrix book
The Vision Code
The Most Unlikely Leader
The Leader with a Thousand Faces
The Elegant Pitch
One Piece of Paper by Mike Figliuolo
Lead Inside the Box
10 Stories Great Leaders Tell
Getting Ahead
Sell with a Story - Border
Lead with a Story
Leading from Your Best Self
Mastering Communication at Work
The Hook
Innovative Leadership Fieldbook
Innovative Leaders Guide to Transforming Organizations
20120318 Three Commitments
Leadership Vertigo
The Littlest Green Beret
Storytelling in the Land of Oz
The Camino Way
Hijacked by Your Brain
Outthink the Competition
Driving Innovation from Within
The Inner Matrix
The Vision Code
The Most Unlikely Leader
The Leader with a Thousand Faces
previous arrow
next arrow
  • The Elegant Pitch
  • The Vision Code
  • The Inner Matrix
  • The Most Unlikely Leader
  • The Leader with a Thousand Faces

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Categories

Our Course Offerings

Leadership Skills

Creating Your Leadership Maxims
Leading Inside the Box
Leading With Influence
Leading Through Change
Structured Problem Solving
Deliberate Decision Making
High Performing Teams
Simplified Strategic Planning
Strategic Business Planning
Coaching for Impact: Foundations
Coaching for Impact: Applications
Building Leadership Resilience
Engagement Management
Project Management Reality

Communication Skills

Communications: Foundations
Communications: Applications
Principles of Chart Design
Strategic Client Engagement
Storytelling for Leaders
Storytelling for Salespeople
Compelling Executive Presence
Advanced Facilitation Skills

Individual Skills

Conflict Resolution
Everything is Negotiable
thoughtLEADERSHIP: Innovation
Building Personal Resilience
Time Management Mastery

Coaching & Consulting

©2023 thoughtLEADERS, LLC: Leadership Training for the Real World. thoughtLEADERS, LLC is a registered trademark of thoughtLEADERS, LLC.
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Cookie Policy
Stop Worrying about People Leaving and Start Greening Your Own Grass How easily do you get overwhelmed by spikes in your workload?
Scroll to top