• Contact
  • My Account
  • Log In
  • 0Shopping Cart
thoughtLEADERS, LLC: Leadership Training for the Real World
  • About
  • Services
  • eLearning
  • Team
  • Blog
  • Clients
  • Books
  • Contact
  • Menu Menu

Build your skills! Take our eLearning courses on TITAN!

World-class eLearning courses with videos, exercises, downloads, and a certificate of completion. Get started today!

Structured Thought: Problem Solving
Structured Thought and Communication
Strategic Business Planning
Principles of Chart Design eLearning Course
Engagement Management
Deliberate Decision Making
Breakthrough Innovation
Everything is Negotiable
Leading through Change
Storytelling for Leaders
Storytelling for Salespeople
Building Leadership Resilience
Compelling Executive Presence
Coaching for Impact
Building Personal Resilience
Building Personal Resilience
Wide Banner SPS
Wide Banner STC
Wide Banner SBP
Wide Banner PCD
Wide Banner ENM
Wide Banner DDM
Wide Banner BTI
Wide Banner EIN
Wide Banner LTC
Wide Banner SFL
Wide Banner SFS
Wide Banner BLR
Wide Banner CEP
Wide Banner CFI
Wide Banner BPR
Wide Banner TMM
previous arrow
next arrow

Be Careful Which Bus You Get On: Having a Fulfilling Life and Career

November 2, 2015/2 Comments/in Balanced Lifestyle, Books, Career, Guest Blogger, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

If you’re not mindful of the direction your life is headed, you might end up somewhere you’re unhappy with. Be deliberate and intentional about where you’re headed. Answer this set of four questions to get a better sense of your direction.

Today’s post is by Donna Stoneham, PhD, author of The Thriver’s Edge (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

We all face crossroads moments in our lives and careers, those times when we feel compelled to change direction. Those choice points most often arise because we feel inspired to embark on a new adventure or we’re desperate to change the situation we’re in. One of my biggest choice points came seventeen years ago, when I realized that if I didn’t change the bus I was riding on, I might not even be around to have a life and a career.

At the time, I was in my late thirties. I was running my own coaching and consulting practice, starting a new women’s leadership company, and I was going to graduate school, consistently working seventy to eighty weeks. I was employed as a consultant on a change management project for a division of Fortune 500 Company, partnering with a Vice President named Ellen to help to “humanize” her organization. Ellen and I had developed a close friendship over the two years we’d worked together on the project. She’d become a corporate mentor to me and I, an informal coach to her.

One day in late September, Ellen and I met for lunch. She was reeling from her performance review earlier that morning that hadn’t gone well. Working 24/7 with little support, Ellen had single-handedly attempted to change the culture of her organization. Her efforts threatened her boss and some of the senior leadership team as their hierarchical and dictatorial approach to power was exposed and beginning to break down.

I’d never seen Ellen look so hopeless or physically drained. She was sweating profusely and was having a difficult time focusing on our conversation. Led by my concern for her well-being, I told Ellen how concerned I was about her health, then proceeded to tear a piece of paper off the top of the tablecloth and wrote, “Rx for Ellen. Take 3 days off, leave your cell phone at home, and go to a monastery and rest.”   Ellen read the note, wadded up the paper, shoved it her purse and said, “Stop worrying about me, Donna, I’m fine! I don’t want to discuss this anymore!”

I paid the check and we said goodbye. Although I knew something was terribly wrong, I had no idea it would be the last conversation I’d ever have with Ellen. I received a call on Monday morning that her husband had come home on the night following our lunch, and found her dead in their hot tub, presumably from a stroke.

Ellen’s early death at age 50 rattled me to my core. At the time she passed away, I was beginning to experience the symptoms of a chronic illness that would sideline me from work for more than two years. Two months after Ellen’s death, she visited me in a dream. In the dream, I was standing on a street corner and a bus was passing by me on the street. Ellen was standing on the bus cursing at the bus driver to let her off. The bus driver yelled back, “Lady this is your bus. It’s too late now. You can’t get off!”

Dressed in a pink wool suit in stiletto heels with a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other, Ellen yelled a stern warning, “Donna, be careful which bus you get on!” Her words put me on notice that is was time to change my life if I didn’t want to follow in her footsteps. She was trying to save my life.

Over the next two years, mostly bedridden by my illness, I had lots of time to think about the kind of life and career I wanted to lead. I had to choose whose voice I wanted to follow, my own or that of others’ expectations. I made a decision that I wanted to work fewer hours, live a more balanced life, and if I recovered, help leaders unleash their potential to thrive from a place of authenticity and choice. But first, I had to awaken from my own cultural trance that said success is based solely on how much money you make, how busy you are, or how much you accomplish. I had to make a conscious choice about which bus was the right one for me.

My decision was forged by desperation. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Inspiration is also a powerful motivator. It’s never too late to take the big adventure to choose the right path for your life and career. Here are a few questions to help you decide which bus you want to take. I hope you’ll choose the bus to thriving, because the world needs you and your gifts.

1. Take some time to reflect on the bus you’ve been riding up to this point in your life and career. Is this the bus you chose, or did you land on this particular bus by accident?

2. What are you enjoying most about the ride? Which parts of the ride are enriching you and those you care about? What brings you the greatest joy and satisfaction in your work and life, and what, if anything, do you need to change to experience those things more consistently?

3. What are you finding difficult about the bus you’re on right now? Which parts of the ride are detrimental to you or those you care about? What do you want to change, if anything, about the bus or where it’s heading?

4. What is one dream for your life and career that you haven’t yet fulfilled? What is one step you can take today, this week, and this month to move you closer to fulfilling that dream?

The Thriver's Edge– Donna Stoneham, PhD, is the author of the new book The Thriver’s Edge: Seven Keys to Transform the Way You Live, Love, and Lead (CLICK HERE to get your copy). She’s the President of Positive Impact, LLC www.positiveimpactllc.com. Donna is a master executive coach, transformational leadership expert, educator and speaker. Take Donna’s Thriver Quiz at www.DonnaStoneham.com and follow her on twitter at @donnastoneham and on Facebook at DonnaStonehamPhD.

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I highly encourage you to take about 30 seconds to become a regular subscriber to this blog. It’s free, fun, practical, and only a few emails a week (I promise!). SIGN UP HERE to get the thoughtLEADERS blog conveniently delivered right to your inbox!

Photo: Two double-decker Routemaster buses, London by Salim Virji

https://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/logo.png 0 0 Mike Figliuolo https://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/logo.png Mike Figliuolo2015-11-02 07:11:572018-08-06 10:16:23Be Careful Which Bus You Get On: Having a Fulfilling Life and Career
2 replies
  1. Brian Ahearn
    Brian Ahearn says:
    November 3, 2015 at 8:15 am

    Powerful story. Thanks for sharing. Brian

    Reply
  2. Matt A
    Matt A says:
    November 3, 2015 at 8:48 am

    I would hate for you to have written this wonderful article and it has no comments. So thank you for writing it. It’s extremely close to my own heart as I have been ‘injured’ chronically for about 4 years now. (torn muscle in my foot, herniated disk in my lower back + sciatica, a kidney infection that tried to kill me … yeah.)

    Before that I’d been completely healthy *most* of my life. It has also given me time to reflect and I don’t always like what I see. Time to think gives you time to choose the correct ‘bus’ and I hope you feel you are on yours now. Keep riding & hopefully it goes the right places with all the stops you’d like to see along the way.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Get free blog posts by email NOW!

It’s the best 5 minutes a week you can spend on your development.

Subscribe HERE!


All Contacts

Get new posts FREE via RSS!
Follow thoughtLEADERS on LinkedInFollow thoughtLEADERS on twitter
This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.
 

Check Out Our Courses

Our courses teach immediately applicable skills that have real impact on your business. From leadership to strategy and negotiation to conflict resolution, we have a broad set of course offerings that will drive immediate performance improvements.
OUR COURSES

Our Courses

Group of Business People Meeting
Puzzle Pieces
Glasses Looking Over Cityscape
Doors on a Wall
Cog Wheels
Man Reading Book
Fishing hook in the sea
Microphone in Lecture Hall
Charts on Blue Background
Wristwatch
Exploding Light Bulb
Man on Summit of Mountain
Lightning Bolts
Man Painting the Word Change on a Wall
Construction Cranes
Plant Growing in a Hand
High Performance Gears
Men Shaking Hands Closeup
Influence Definition
Sailboat at Sunset
Hanging light bulbs with glowing one isolated on dark blue background
Wagon Wheel
Executive Communications
Structured Problem Solving
Creating Leadership Maxims
Leading inside the Box
Deliberate Decision Making
Simple Strategic Planning
Storytelling for Leaders
Storytelling for Sales
Executive Presence
Principles of Chart Design
Time Management Mastery
Breakthrough Innovation
Leadership Resilience
Conflict Resolution
Leading through Change
Project Management Reality
Coaching for Impact
High Performing Teams
Everything is Negotiable
Leading with Influence
Building Personal Resilience
thoughtLEADERSHIP
Engagement Management
previous arrow
next arrow
 

eLearning Courses on TITAN

Structured Thought: Problem Solving
Puzzle Pieces
Structured Thought: Problem Solving

Clearly define a problem, scope all issues related to the problem, generate potential solutions, then analyze and select the best solution by using time-tested critical thinking methods and tools.

VIEW COURSE
Structured Thought and Communication
Group of Business People Meeting
Structured Thought and Communication

Craft clear and compelling recommendations that resonate with stakeholders. Get your ideas approved by using a proven method for delivering executive-level communications.

VIEW COURSE
Principles of Chart Design
Different Types of Line and Bar Charts
Principles of Chart Design

Create well-designed presentation charts that get your message across quickly and clearly to drive your audience to action. From data charts to concept charts, these methods help make your point.

VIEW COURSE
Engagement Management
Wagon Wheel
Engagement Management

Whether you’re an internal or external consultant or a project leader, learn proven methods, techniques, and processes to effectively lead consulting engagements that drive your client’s success.

VIEW COURSE
Strategic Business Planning
Cog Wheels
Strategic Business Planning

Use a straightforward and effective strategic planning process that shows how to craft a clear, compelling plan for your organization - not just one time, but on an ongoing basis year after year.

VIEW COURSE
Deliberate Decision Making
Deliberate Decision Making
Deliberate Decision Making

Make better, faster, and more effective decisions. Apply simple yet powerful decision making tools to define decision authority, manage risk, increase accountability, and drive execution.

VIEW COURSE
Everything is Negotiable
Men Shaking Hands
Everything is Negotiable

Become a better negotiator in all situations – from day to day interactions to hammering out large deals. Build the skills required to get what you want and strengthen relationships while you do.

VIEW COURSE
Breakthrough Innovation
Exploding Lightbulb
Breakthrough Innovation

Generate and select unique strategies that separate you from the competition. Construct bold and disruptive solutions then build and execute a plan for taking those strategies to market.

VIEW COURSE
Storytelling for Leaders
Man reading stories from a book
Storytelling for Leaders

Create business stories that inspire people, build connections with your audience, and ultimately advance your organization's goals by using a repeatable, straightforward method.

VIEW COURSE
Storytelling for Salespeople
Storytelling for Salespeople
Storytelling for Salespeople

Create and deliver stories that will take your sales efforts to the next level. Connect with and convince buyers in all situations using memorable stories. These stronger relationships drive more sales.

VIEW COURSE
Leading through Change
Leading through Change
Leading through Change

Lead your organization through the most challenging times using a proven change management process. Get people through the change and back to driving performance quickly and effectively.

VIEW COURSE
Building Leadership Resilience
Mountain Climbing Expedition
Building Leadership Resilience

Prepare your body and brain to be ready for and recover from your biggest challenges. Build approaches for overcoming stress, managing reactions to difficult events, and leading more effectively.

VIEW COURSE
Compelling Executive Presence
Compelling Executive Presence
Compelling Executive Presence

Build your ability to connect with your audience and convey your ideas in a clear and resonant way. Create meaningful connections between you and your audience to build buy-in.

VIEW COURSE
Coaching for Impact
Plant Growing in a Hand
Coaching for Impact: Foundation Course

Coach employees for performance and development more effectively by helping them identify and pursue their own solutions. Create the right environment and conditions to help them grow.

VIEW COURSE
Building Personal Resilience
Boat at Sunset
Building Personal Resilience

Build the habits and learn the behaviors required to manage stress, deal with adversity, and maintain your physical and mental wellbeing. Personal resilience is a key to your ongoing success.

VIEW COURSE
Time Management Mastery
Watches
Time Management Mastery

Learn techniques to manage your time, delegate, say “no,” and be more efficient. Balance your limited supply of time with the overwhelming demands that are placed on you every day.

VIEW COURSE
previous arrow
next arrow

Books You MUST Read

The Elegant Pitch
One Piece of Paper by Mike Figliuolo
Lead Inside the Box
10 Stories Great Leaders Tell
Getting Ahead
Sell with a Story
Lead with a Story
Mastering Communication at Work
The Hook
Innovative Leadership Fieldbook
Innovative Leaders Guide to Transforming Organizations
The Three Commitments of Leadership
The Littlest Green Beret
Storytelling in the Land of Oz
The Camino Way
The Leader with a Thousand Faces
The Vision Code
The Most Unlikely Leader
The Leader with a Thousand Faces
The Art of Feminine Negotiation
Grow Your Spine & Manage Abrasive Leadership Behavior
Why Not Win?
The Elegant Pitch
One Piece of Paper by Mike Figliuolo
Lead Inside the Box
10 Stories Great Leaders Tell
Getting Ahead
Sell with a Story - Border
Lead with a Story
Leading from Your Best Self
Mastering Communication at Work
The Hook
Innovative Leadership Fieldbook
Innovative Leaders Guide to Transforming Organizations
20120318 Three Commitments
Leadership Vertigo
The Littlest Green Beret
Storytelling in the Land of Oz
The Camino Way
Hijacked by Your Brain
Outthink the Competition
Driving Innovation from Within
The Voice of the Underdog
The Vision Code
The Most Unlikely Leader
The Leader with a Thousand Faces
The Art of Feminine Negotiation
Grow Your Spine & Manage Abrasive Leadership Behavior
Why Not Win?
previous arrow
next arrow
  • The Elegant Pitch
  • The Vision Code
  • The Most Unlikely Leader
  • The Leader with a Thousand Faces
  • The Voice of the Underdog
  • The Art of Feminine Negotiation
  • Grow Your Spine & Manage Abrasive Leadership Behavior
  • Why Not Win?

Categories

This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links.

Our Course Offerings

Leadership Skills

Creating Your Leadership Maxims
Leading Inside the Box
Leading With Influence
Leading Through Change
Structured Problem Solving
Deliberate Decision Making
High Performing Teams
Simplified Strategic Planning
Strategic Business Planning
Coaching for Impact: Foundations
Coaching for Impact: Applications
Building Leadership Resilience
Engagement Management
Project Management Reality

Communication Skills

Communications: Foundations
Communications: Applications
Principles of Chart Design
Strategic Client Engagement
Storytelling for Leaders
Storytelling for Salespeople
Compelling Executive Presence
Advanced Facilitation Skills

Individual Skills

Conflict Resolution
Everything is Negotiable
thoughtLEADERSHIP: Innovation
Building Personal Resilience
Time Management Mastery

Coaching & Consulting

©2023 thoughtLEADERS, LLC: Leadership Training for the Real World. thoughtLEADERS, LLC is a registered trademark of thoughtLEADERS, LLC.
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Cookie Policy
How well do you motivate your people? 5 Personal Leadership Lessons I Learned from My Daughter
Scroll to top