The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do To Improve Your Communication

Today’s post is by Lisa Marshall, author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation (CLICK HERE to get your copy).

I think we all have instinctive radar that draws us to people who are real, who are authentic, and who are able to share their passions.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend Michael and I were offered 8th row tickets for a Bob Seger concert. Although, I didn’t know anything about Bob Seger’s music, but that night I became a huge fan, and not because of his music.

It made such a big impression on me, I still remember it vividly in my mind. Bob and his band were having so much fun on stage: it seemed as if they were just a bunch of high school boys enthusiastically horsing around in their parent’s basement. It was if they were just playing around and it didn’t matter that over 40,000 eyes were watching them perform.

What I remember most is their excitement and energy. Bob was moving around so much under the hot lights that he kept changing his shirt. It was the same shirt just in different colors: a red one, a blue one, a green one. The energy was contagious!

On the way home in the car, I said to Michael, “I want to be like Bob Seger.” He said, “You want to be in a band?” I said, “No, I want my job to be something I enjoy so much that people around me can just feel it … just like Bob Seger.”

Yet, at the same time, we sometimes feel somewhat reluctant and somewhat uncomfortable about sharing our passions publicly and whole-heartedly. Particularly, at work and at school, we’re trained to communicate in a dispassionate and objective manner.

Certainly there’s need for objective, dispassionate analytical study, however when you communicate face-to-face, your excitement is what draws people in and is what compels them to take action. Listeners need to instinctively feel your passion, hear the excitement in your voice, and see the excitement in your eyes. That’s what inspires us.

Yes, the content of what you say in important it’s energy and excitement that creates a lasting impact. Think about the people who have had the most impact in your own life – the ones who have inspired you. Think about how they made you feel when they talked. I’ll bet you can still remember that feeling and perhaps even the words that they said. I’ll bet you’ve even heard people speak about a topic that you weren’t particularly interested in, but when they were done, suddenly, you wanted to learn more.

Great communicators not only give us solid content. Great communicators make us feel good. Great communicators inspire us. Great communicators share and show their natural passion.

John Paul DeJoria knows the role enthusiasm plays in success. He started John Paul Mitchell Systems in 1980 when he was living in his car. He understands that to be successful you must have enthusiasm about what you are doing. He encourages professionals by telling them that even if they hear 100 people say “no” to their product or service, when they speak with the next person to be just as enthusiastic as they were with the very first person. This advice has served him well throughout his life, he has gone from living in his car to having a net worth of over four billion dollars.

I once read about how Gary Vaynerchuk, the star of Wine Library TV, trained his palate. Growing up he spent many days at his parents’ liquor store and became interested in wine. He started reading Wine Spectator and Wine Advocate and wanted to become an expert at wine. Still a teenager, Gary went about to train his palate in an unorthodox manner. He was still too young to taste wine, but he could taste the various flavors that were associated with wine. Gary began to taste fruits and vegetables, along with other more earthy ingredients, including grass, dirt, rocks, tobacco and wood. By training his palate in this manner, Gary was able to detect subtleties that an ordinary palate wouldn’t recognize. He has said, “I probably consumed more New Jersey grass in my teens than any lawn mower.”

Eating grass and dirt may not be for everyone, but there is no denying his strong interest in wine. No wonder he has grown his small family owned liquor store into a multimillion-dollar store. His drive and enthusiasm is why over 80,000 people watch him everyday. People can see and hear his commitment and enthusiasm and it gets them excited about wine.

This is why, in every conversation you have, in every presentation of your work, it is critical for you to share your intense enthusiasm for your work. When you are given an opportunity to speak, use it to tell stories that will engage the listener. Don’t be afraid to whole-heartedly share your passion. In fact, it’s the single most important thing you can do to improve your communication skills.

When you communicate face-to-face listeners want to hear the passion in your voice and see the excitement in your eyes; we want to know your story, we want to instinctively feel your intensity. We want the “Bob Seger” experience!

– Communication expert Lisa B. Marshall delivers consulting and workshops, is author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation and Ace Your Interview, and host of the Public Speaker, a free top iTunes podcast. Smart Talk shows you how you can create the “Bob Seger” experience every day.