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The Key to Real Relationships with Your Team

May 29, 2012/2 Comments/in Books, Career, Communications, Leadership /by Mike Figliuolo

The Word Trust Carved into a BoardThis warrants being said again.

Your team doesn’t trust you.

Honestly. They don’t.

Trust is key to effective working relationships; yet, as you climb the corporate ladder, trust seems harder to earn and easier to lose.

What causes a team to not trust their leader? You. Yes, you. You’re unpredictable and your team doesn’t know what to expect from you. But, these are fixable problems.

Trust is about an ability to rely upon or expect a predictable outcome. When you act in ways your team doesn’t expect, it erodes trust and makes them wonder what you’re going to do next. The root of all your trust issues lies in not clearly setting expectations of your behavior in the first place (and if you don’t think you have a trust issue with your team, take this quick 5 minute assessment to see how you stack up).

If you can clearly lay out how your people can expect you to behave in a variety of situations, they’ll have a basic expectation upon which to build a foundation of trust. These expectations, however, cannot simply be broad, buzzword-filled platitudes.

When you set expectations, they have to be personal and meaningful enough to you that they guide your behavior in a variety of situations. I refer to these guiding principles as “leadership maxims” which are rules of behavior or conduct. The collection of all your leadership maxims becomes your personal leadership philosophy.

Defining Your Leadership Philosophy

I encourage you as a leader to define your own set of leadership maxims. They can be as simple as one of mine which is “What would Nana say?” For reference, Nana was my grandmother. I can use that maxim in a variety of situations to guide my behavior.

When faced with a set of difficult choices, I simply ask “what would Nana say?” and my choice becomes clear. To expound upon that, when I explain this maxim to my team, they’ll better understand how I make choices and they’ll see my behavior as consistent with this maxim. It is this consistency that forms the basis of trust. For a little more background on this maxim, you can watch a quick video clip here.

You’ll need to define your maxims across a range of situations. You’ll need to think about four aspects of leadership:

– Leading yourself: what motivates you and what are your “rules of the road?”
– Leading the thinking: where are you taking the organization and what are your standards for performance?
– Leading your people: duh. This is the one we always focus on usually to the detriment of other aspects.
– Leading a balanced life: if you’re burned out, you’re worthless. How do you define and achieve balance?

How can they get to know the real you?

This isn’t about hanging out with your team and being best buddies over a beer. Helping them get to know you is about being transparent with your beliefs and standards. It’s about letting them know who you really are as a person. It boils down to having a clear leadership philosophy.

Before you run off and throw together a bunch of buzzwords and call it a philosophy, I encourage you to articulate your PERSONAL leadership philosophy in a simple, concise way. Once you’ve defined that philosophy (which needs to be uniquely yours) you’re in a position to share those beliefs with your team members.

Reducing Uncertainty

Once they know who you are and what your leadership philosophy is, you need to live it every day. Predictability is key. If you articulate a philosophy, they’ll be watching for indicators of whether you lead in a manner that is consistent with it or not. Even the slightest departure in your actions from what your philosophy indicates will give them pause.

Consistency and predictability are crucial aspects of getting your team to focus less on “what’s the boss going to do today?” and more on the work they’re supposed to be doing.

To help them get comfortable that you’re being consistent, try pointing out instances when you’re taking action based on your philosophy. Help them see how your actions are in harmony with the things you already told them were important. When you do this, two things happen: first, they get more comfortable believing your philosophy isn’t just an empty set of platitudes and second they understand there is logic and reason behind your actions. Those two dynamics go a long way toward building trust between you and your associates.

The Bottom Line

The sooner you commit your leadership philosophy to paper, the better off you are. Be sure it is personal, authentic, and free of jargon or buzzwords. Share it with your team. Live it every day. Help them see you’re really not that complex or unpredictable. Morale, productivity, and trust will all increase as a result.

If you want a quick sense for whether your team finds you predictable, take this quick trust assessment. It will take you all of 5 minutes but it will definitely get you thinking. CLICK HERE to take the assessment.

– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC

– If you want to be a better leader and build trust with your team, grab a copy of my book One Piece of Paper: The Simple Approach to Powerful, Personal Leadership

Photo: Trust by vagawi

https://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/logo.png 0 0 Mike Figliuolo https://www.thoughtleadersllc.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/logo.png Mike Figliuolo2012-05-29 07:05:272018-06-26 16:38:47The Key to Real Relationships with Your Team
2 replies
  1. Moira
    Moira says:
    May 30, 2012 at 6:15 am

    Leaders should also remember that trust is a two-way street. If you don’t trust the people in your team (for no good reason), they will pick it up and find it difficult to trust you.
    Most leaders who find it difficult to trust their team actually don’t trust themselves!

    Reply
  2. Sara Zeff Geber
    Sara Zeff Geber says:
    June 26, 2012 at 11:15 am

    One EXCELLENT way to jump-start the learning process when you take over as a ‘new’ leader for an established group or a team that is newly formed is to take your new team off-site for a half day and get to know one another on a professional and personal level. These events are generally called “new leader assimilations.”

    In these assimilations, you get to do a jump-start of the things Mike is talking about. You share your philosophy of leadership and of winning. You share your leadership style. And the team plays an active role as well, sharing what they want from you, what questions they have of you, and what they want you to know about them.

    I agree with everything Mike says about nurturing relationships within your team. This is vital to building a strong, cohesive core. It can be done even faster with a jump-start and help from a professional trained do facilitate these kinds of events. It’s an investment in your success that good companies happily and eagerly make.

    Reply

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The Elegant Pitch
One Piece of Paper by Mike Figliuolo
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  • The Elegant Pitch
  • The Vision Code
  • The Most Unlikely Leader
  • The Voice of the Underdog
  • The Art of Feminine Negotiation
  • Grow Your Spine & Manage Abrasive Leadership Behavior
  • Why Not Win?
  • Work-Life Bloom
  • Fast-Starting a Career of Consequence
  • The Decision Switch
  • The Art of Conscious Conversations
  • Leadership is Overcoming the Natural

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