Detail Oriented Versus Control Freak – Where’s the Line?
Twice in the last week I’ve heard about “idiot bosses” (all right, maybe more than twice, and if you don’t believe me check out the polls at the bottom of the page). Being the inquisitive guy I am, I probed for the root cause of such comments. Rather than simply asking what the cause is, I decided to probe the symptoms first.
“Tell me more about this idiot boss.”
“I’m so fed up with him. He’s always on top of everything I do. He nags at me. Sometimes he even goes behind my back on things that I’m responsible for. It seems like everything I do is constantly under a microscope.”
“Like how?” (I know – I sounded like a Valley Girl on that one).
“The other night I was getting ready to leave and he actually called my cell as I walked out of the building because he wanted to discuss something that happened earlier that morning. He sometimes goes to members of my team, asks them what they’re doing, and then reprioritizes their work or even gives them new projects I’m not aware of. On top of that, he doesn’t even tell me he’s done this and I find out after the fact that my team’s priorities have changed.”
“Wow. That’s pretty bad. Lemme tell you what I think you can do here.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
“The way I see it, there are a few things you need to think about and a few ways you can handle this. First, have you ever thought about the fact that it might be you?” This question took him by surprise and hit him harder than Seth Petruzelli hit Kimbo Slice.
“Here’s the thing – if your boss is prioritizing work on your team and handing out assignments, maybe he’s doing it because you’re not. Look – admission is the first step to remission. You have to take a hard look at the boss’ behavior from his standpoint. He’s doing this for a reason and that reason might be because he has to do the work since you’re not.”
Here’s the lesson folks – before attributing the problem to someone else, be sure to be introspective and ensure you’re not the root cause. Your boss might be excessively detail oriented because you’re not and someone has to pick up the slack. In this case, I knew this guy as well as the boss so I knew the issue was on the boss’ side of the equation. Here are the choices if you’re in this same situation:
Set Boundaries
Your boss might be behaving in this manner because they’ve always done it that way. They may have had subordinates in the past who required such microscopic management or they were so apathetic they didn’t care if the boss went around them. Heck, maybe they were so lazy (or cagey) they enjoyed letting the boss do their job so they could play Boxhead Zombie Wars on the web.
It’s your job to let the boss know what boundaries you’re comfortable with. Go to them and let them know you’d prefer to manage your team directly. You want to set their priorities with your boss’ input. Most bosses want to be good bosses. If you help them do that and let them know what behavior is helpful or harmful, they’re likely to readily adopt those boundaries. If they don’t, you could always go with a higher risk, more direct approach.
Manage Up
Some bosses need to “get involved” because they aren’t comfortable that they know what’s going on. Maybe their boss is asking them a lot of questions and they don’t have the answers so they have to go seek them out. Either way, this behavior might be the result of being ill-informed.
Manage up. Proactively provide them the information you know they want and need. Give it to them before they ask for it. It will keep them “out of your stuff” and they’ll appreciate it. For many bosses, the last thing in the world they want to do is your job. If you demonstrate to them you’re doing it, they’re less likely to take on those responsibilities themselves.
Control freaks abound. The better you manage them, the less of a freak they’ll become. And if they’re not freaks, it’s more likely they’ll be better leaders.
– Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC
Good stuff as always Mike, and a tough message we all need to hear from time to time. I’ve had less than stellar bosses on occasion, but it’s also true I’ve been a less than stellar employee at times. Figuring out one’s own contribution to the problem is usually the first step to a more productive relationship.
Thanks for this post. While I agree it’s always good to check at home first, control freaks often can’t help themselves and can drive others crazy. When under extreme pressure, they tend to micromanage, and I have found that I can be as proactive as my boundaries allow to avoid being and appearing to be a gargantuan sycophant, and then I have to let go of the rest. It ain’t personal! Later (after things cool down) I check in to see if I was not meeting some heretofore unknown expectation, and the answer is ALWAYS “no, I was out of control, and it’s something i need to work on”. People who are managing for the first time can also be hypercontrolling until they get the delegating thing down.
Having 36 years of IT professional experience and seeing everything from Cord Board Automated Data Processing to Web enabled apps; I’ve got one comment: SPOT ON!
This management scenario plays itself out regardless of technology, look, color, feel, taste or smell. It is based on relationships or lack thereof.
My wife asks me frequently why we men tend to have life-long relationships. I tell her that good relationships are like good gardens. they must be watered, fertilized and weeded with regularity. So to the Boss/Subordinate Relationship.
Keep ’em coming Mike!
RJB
@Cynthia – of course stress makes some people psycho. At least the individual you’re mentioning has awareness of their issue. Maybe during a calm time the two of you can agree on a signal or “code word” that you can use to let them know they’re getting mental. If you discuss it beforehand and both agree to use the method, when you use the phrase or signal in the stressed scenario, it should resonate and help them self-correct more quickly.
@RJ Bradner – I concur. Relationships are key and being able to honestly let someone know they’re being a control freak and overstepping boundaries makes for a much healthier relationship. Just be sure to have these boundary discussions ahead of the psycho moments (see advice to @Cynthia above). Doing so will increase the likelihood that it’ll stick and work.
Excellent thoughts Mike!!
I could not agree with you more on this one.
It’s always easy to point the finger at someone else when there are issues or conflicts that could more easily be resolved through some self-introspection.
As someone who considers themselves “Detail Oriented”, I TRY to make it a habit to check in with my team on a regular basis for input, as well as manage UP proactively, but it is not always easy.
I think the most critical issue you have identified here is communication in all directions, as well a the ability to “self-check” from time to time.
As always – great thoughts – Keep them coming!!!
Dear Mike,
I happened to work under a boss who not only the demonstrated the activities mentioned by you but more than those things.
I think you missed out about ethics, exploitation, not lifting the people from hell (doing donkey's work), retaining the company facilities for himself or mis-using the same and not providing them to team members.
Thanks
What do you do when your boss is a control freak & he won’t listen to what you have say?
I think you’ve got to provide them candid feedback about their behavior and the impact it’s having on you/the team. Start by pointing out specific behaviors, have them agree/recall that they did indeed demonstrate that behavior, then let them know how it makes you feel. Once they understand that, tell them what you’d like to change in the relationship and ask if they can commit to doing so. From that point forward, provide feedback when you see them demonstrating (or not demonstrating) the positive behaviors. It’ll take time. Also be sure to ask for feedback from them. They might be controlling because you’re not providing them enough information, frequent enough updates, or you’re making bad decisions. Be open to the possibility that you (or your teammates) could be causing some of their controlling behaviors. Good luck!